Page 34 of Scar Tissue

We walk out of the front door, and he locks it behind him, enabling the security system first. Something I didn’t notice until recently. “And what about you? Do you understand that I was trying to be helpful?”

I’d like to pretend that it bothers me, too, but his heart was in the right place. I’m glad that he has the inclination to think ahead like this. “I do.”

He flashes me a panty dropping grin and my heart flutters. Those flutters quickly turn into scorching need as he leans in, his mouth hovering by my ear. “Good. Because it gave me the opportunity to go through your underwear drawer and…realize that I have no idea what your favorite pair is. So I just grabbed the sexiest ones I could find.”

I suddenly choke on air.“What?”

He’s already walking to his car, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, flustered. He knows how impossible he’s making this for me and he knows it. Dragging my feet, I pop in the passenger seat a few seconds later and keep my gaze averted from his, cheeks flaming as I feel his eyes on me. Claire sits in the back, curled against the door, earphones in, and book open on her lap as she tunes us out. “Let’s get this over with, yeah?”

A few hours into the drive, Claire has drifted off to sleep, her book forgotten where it’s fallen on the seat next to her, and Nathan and I haven’t spoken much aside from minor details relating to the trip.

“How is your new job?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“It’s okay. Easy. It’s nice to have something to do with my hands.” Instead of twiddling my thumbs all day.

But clearly his mind went somewhere else entirely as he coughs and clears his throat, trying and failing to hide the flush that’sclimbing up his neck. If we were together, which we’re not, I can only imagine what his response would’ve been. I roll my eyes and wait for him to compose himself.

Slowly, he nods. “I can understand that. Why flowers?”

“Why not? They’re easier to be around than people.”

He huffs. “Don’t you have to be around people anyway? You know, when they’re buying the flowers?”

I shrug. “Sure, but it doesn’t feel like other areas of customer service. I feel like people who enjoy being around flowers have something in common with the flowers themselves.”

He passes a vehicle on the interstate. “What do you mean?”

I pause for a moment as I think about my response to him. “Think of every flower as a human life. A lot of people think that they just need water to survive, just like they think all humans need are food and water to do the same. But the reality is that tothrivethey need the right ratios of care, attention, and space to grow. Some require different soils, different amounts of water, sunlight, and certain environments otherwise they wither away. Just like people; we need love, connection, positive conditions, and independence otherwise our purpose is…limited. The only difference is that flowers can’t talk back.”

He laughs at that. Really, truly laughs, and the sound is full-bodied and resonant. I would do anything to hear more of it. “I suppose that’s fair. I like the way you look at things, Thea.” And the way he says my name…it slides down my spine like a glass of smooth whiskey, leaving a slight burn in its wake that settles between my legs. “And you’re happy with it?”

“So far, so good. Why do you ask?”

Claire shifts in the seat behind us before he continues. “Because you deserve nothing less. And when I asked you why you were looking for a job the first time, what I really wanted to say was that you didn’t have to if you really didn’t want to.”

“And while I appreciate that, it was like I said—I can’t just continue to live off of your generosity. Not to mention, I refuse to beat another man’s mercy like that ever again,” I snap, my irritation boiling over.

He must sense it because his grip tightens on the steering wheel. “Which is why I didn’t say it in the first place. I don’t want that for you, either.”

Instead of responding to him, I cross my arms and look out the window as we pass other cars and exits the closer we get to our destination. “I did want to talk to you about something else though, if you’re open to it.”

“Depends on what it is.” I glance at him in my periphery.

“You opted out of receiving any more of his health insurance even though you could’ve stayed enrolled based on what I read.”

“Is that a question or statement?”

He nibbles on his lower lip. “Both, I guess.”

“It would keep me tied to him and I don’t want it, no matter how beneficial it would be for me. Not that it matters now, everything is settled and done.” This time he sighs; in annoyance or worry, I’m not entirely sure. “What?”

“I just hate that you don’t have coverage, and you can’t exactly enroll right now since we’re a quarter way into the year.”

“It’s a good thing payment plans exist, then.”

He shakes his head, and this time I know it’s from frustration. “What, Nathan?”

“It doesn’t matter. Anything I say you’re just going to shrug off.”