I'm allowed to want someone.
I'm allowed to tell him that I want him.
And if he doesn't feel the same?
Then I'll survive.
Yeah, it'll hurt.
Probably a lot.
But at least I'll know.
No regrets.
No wondering.
No lying awake imagining what might have been.
The water finally runs clear.
I shut it off and stand there for a moment listening to the quiet.
Then I spot it hanging from a hook beside the shower.
One of Micah's flannel shirts.
Probably left there for exactly this sort of emergency.
I smile.
It's enormous.
The soft fabric slips over my head and falls almost to the middle of my thighs.
The sleeves swallow my hands until I roll them twice.
It smells like him.
Fresh laundry.
Cedar.
Soap.
Home.
I brush out my damp hair, watching my reflection in the mirror.
I hardly recognize the woman staring back at me.
She's tired.
Bruised.
A little scared.
But there's something else there too.