Page 64 of Bones

“Of course I feel this, Bones.”

“I’m Nate to you,” he replies with an anguished, grief-stricken look. “I’ve never been Bones to you. I want to be everything to you, Doc. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the one night with Isla. It was more about us trying to understand the dynamic between us than anything else. But we figured it out, and that Skull and her belong together. I was not included in that. I didn’t belong there. And that’s part of why I was so lost. I didn’t know my place with my brother anymore. And then I found you.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “And then I understood why I didn’t belong with them. Because I belong with you. I should have told you the truth, and I’m sorry. I’ll be sorry for the rest of our lives if you forgive me and give me a second chance. I have no more secrets, and now you know everything.”

“I need a little time,” I manage to say, my emotions all over the place.

“You are the love of my life, Doc.” His voice sounds strangled. “This was all before you, and it doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ll never keep anything from you again. Just please don’t push me away. Don’t talk to me if you don’t want to. Ignore me. Hit me. Fight with me. Just don’t ask me to leave.”

“Bones—”

“Nate,” he corrects, then comes around to my side of the counter and cups my nape. His fingers slide into the back of my hair as he tilts my head back and kisses me. It’s a hungry, almost desperate kiss, and I melt into it.

He tastes like regret.

His kiss goes on for longer than I should allow, but who am I kidding? I’ve missed him. He’s the one who breaks the kiss, but only to tell me, “I want you. Let me have you. I want to get on my knees and bury my face in that pussy of yours. I want you to come all over me.”

I want all of that too.

But sometimes we don’t get what we want.

“Bones, no,” I gasp, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him backward. “Go, please.”

He looks devastated, but he steps away.

And when he turns to leave, I almost call him back.

Almost.

But there’s one thing I have to do first.

And the second I hear his bike ride away, I send Isla a text, asking her to come over.

“I’m so happy you messaged me,” she says, stepping inside and taking in my house. “I really want to clear the air with you.”

“Me too,” I admit, gesturing for her to take a seat on the couch. I get us both a glass of wine and then get right down to it. “I guess I want to hear your side of things. I know you slept with Bones once… Were there more feelings involved on your end? And who decided it was one time and one time only?”

“It was a mutual decision. And no, there weren’t romantic feelings on mine or his part. I’m going to be honest with you. When I heard that they used to share women, I wanted to experience that. It was my idea. And it wasn’t much more than me wanting to see what they gave all the other women. I think in some twisted way, it was also us wanting to include Bones. I had stepped in and changed the dynamic of their relationship, and I didn’t want to damage that. I guess we were all trying to find our place. But there are no feelings between Bones and me, not in that way. He went right back to sleeping with anyone he wanted, and Skull and I have never done anything like that again.”

“I just wish he were honest with me. I don’t know…” I sigh. “To find out like that. I hated that everyone knew, and I didn’t. I know that’s probably my ego speaking, but it hurt. A lot. And knowing he’s been with you also hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, reaching out and touching my hand. “It’s so important to me that we have a good relationship too. We’re practically all going to be living together and raising Natalia together. It’s an unusual situation, and it can be a lot to take in. I think that’s why Bones was trying to ease you into it. I’m not making any excuses for him. He should have told you, but I think that’s where his head was at.”

I exhale deeply.

“I’m so sorry, Meredith. We didn’t take into account that Bones might fall in love, especially so soon after. We were just in the moment, but looking back, it was a selfish thing I did. I’m sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong. You didn’t even know me back then,” I assure her. “Do I hate knowing you got to experience him like that? Yes, but it is what it is.”

“I know I couldn’t handle Skull sleeping with you,” she admits, wincing. “But I’ve been where you are, and I know exactly how you feel. I didn’t know if Bones would ask him to… you know… since they did with me.”

“No, of course not. Bones was single back then, and it was different. And you let Skull have those three nights with me. We really bonded a lot.”

“Skull and I spoke about it. There are a few loopholes that might give everyone what they need without crossing any lines.”

“Do I even want to know?”

She grins, and we hug each other.