Page 62 of The Bratva Sinner
“It was an impulsive decision,” I admit. “One of my girls had been murdered, and I didn’t want to think about holding Lila’s dead body.”
He’s quiet. “Like Mom.”
“Don’t,” I warn him. “Do not start that shit.”
“You were so young.” His tone is gentle, which is rare. “No child should ever have to see what you saw that day.”
The memories flash through my mind, and I shake my head. I can’t think about that day often. It’ll destroy me.
“I was sixteen,” I murmur.
“A kid not ready for that kind of violence. Not even in our world.”
I fight away the images of my mother's broken body. The blood. The memory hooks under my ribs and pulls tight. Even atsixteen, I understood what had been done to her. I remember taking off my shirt and covering her nudity.
I inhale through my nose, fighting back the bile and pain that comes any time I remember that day.
“They killed her mother,” I say.
Nikolai nods. “Lots of mothers get killed.”
“Don’t.”
“You’re saving Mom, and you’re saving yourself. You’ve been pulling women off the streets for years, and you’ve never married any of them. How old is this girl?”
I remain silent, unwilling to admit the truth.
“Maksim.”
“Nineteen.”
“Not much older than you were.”
“I know what you’re suggesting, and you’re wrong,” I tell him. “This isn’t fucked-up psychobabble nonsense. It wouldn’t matter if she were forty. I still would have done what I did.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.”
This fucker.
“I want her, Nikolai. But she doesn’t want me. She looks at me like I’m a necessary evil. Something she has to tolerate to stay alive.”
“She’s your wife.”
“No, not like that. I need her to want me.”
“Then make her want you.”
“How? I’ve fucked up so many times. I told her I wanted to take her virginity to make her worthless to the Albanians. She punched me in the face.”
“You said what?” Nikolai laughs. “No wonder she doesn’t want you.”
“Thanks. That’s helpful.”
“Come on; I want to show you the changes we’ve made at the other hotel,” he says.
“Still planning world domination out here?” I ask as we make our way down.
“Not planning, little brother. I already dominate.”
