Page 94 of Vows of Silence

Okay, this wasn’t going at all how I expected it to. I understood that he was probably half mad with worry, but he hadn’t even asked if I was okay.

Isabelle:I’m fine, Luca. Thanks for asking.

Luca:I know you’re fucking fine. You think I don’t know that?

Isabelle:How could you? You don’t even know where I am.

Luca:I have a pretty good idea.

I rolled my eyes.

Men and their pride.

That was all this was. Luca was angry because he’d failed to protect me. Because another man had reached me first. He would never admit that he’d lost me. That another man had snatched me from under his nose.

Isabelle:Sure you do. Look, I didn’t message you to argue.

Luca:So why did you message?

I paused for a second, looking up from the phone and around the room, as though the answer was magically going to be there.

Isabelle:I wanted you to know I was okay.

I typed, finally settling on my answer.

Luca:And?

I frowned at the phone.

Isabelle: Is that not enough? We’re friends, aren’t we?

Luca: Friends.

I could practically hear the scoff.

Isabelle: I didn’t want you worrying. I care about you. I didn’t want you to think I’d just… well… left.

Luca: But you did leave. You shut me out. You ran away.

I paused for a moment.

Yes, okay, I shut him out. But running away was a bit extreme. I hadn’t run anywhere.

Isabelle:Luca, are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself.

Luca:Oh, you have no idea.

Isabelle:Are you mad at me? You know none of this was my fault, don’t you?

He couldn’t possibly think this was my fault.

Isabelle:Luca??

He did! He actually thought I was responsible for this fucking mess!

Isabelle:Fine! Don’t reply to me. I just wanted to message you because I missed you, okay? I wanted to let you know that you’ve been on my mind. You’ve actually helped me, though you won’t even understand how. But you have. You’ve been the voice in my mind, silently cheering me on. You’ve given me strength here when some days felt impossible.

I paused, waiting to see if the typing bubble would appear. After a minute, with no sign he was replying—though the read reports were on, so I knew he was still looking—I typed some more.