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“What the fuck is going on? And why does Vienna nearly have his cock out?”

“Nothing you haven’t almost seen before,” Liam said in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. It only earned him a punch from Dante.

Then, because birds truly cannot help but sing, Rooster immediately pointed at me and said, “Vienna fed Monster his pubes.”

Chicken nodded furiously. “In a sandwich.”

Rachel just blinked as though she was trying to process what had just been said.

Then she very slowly turned her head and looked at me.

I smiled weakly. “In my defence—”

The pizza box hit me in the chest. It bounced off me and landed on the floor with a splat, chips spilling from the carrier bag as Rachel launched the rest of the takeaway at the table like she was feeding wild animals at a petting zoo.

“You absolute fucking feral bastards!” she shouted. “Do you know how easy it is to order a takeaway? It is not hard!”

“To be fair, we are banned—”

“Oh, don’t give me that, Riley! You’re banned fromonetakeaway. One! Notice how I managed to order this one perfectly fine?”

“You also destroyed it,” I said, ever so helpfully.

“So help me God, Vienna, I will—”

“God-Vienna, I like that. You can all call me that from now on.”

“You have a fucking death wish,” Dante muttered at me and then took a step back.

“Traitor,” I hissed at him.

“Do you know what, I’m done,” Rachel said. “You are all grown men! You arechoosingto live like this!”

“Technically, we were trying to eat—” Sunshine started.

Rachel whipped round so fast he physically recoiled. “Do not test me right now, Sunny.”

He held up both hands. “Understood.”

Then she looked back at me.

And then she marched across the room and slapped me across the back of the head.

Hard.

“What the fuck, hair buddy?” I yelped, stumbling sideways.

“You know what you did!”

“I fed the needy! I’m basically Jesus!” I said, trying to dodge the next of her blows.

“You brought pubes into my house?!” she shrieked.

I stared at her in disbelief. “Rachel, hair buddy, love of my best friend’s life… I hate to break it to you, but everyone in this room brought pubes into your house.”

She blinked.

I spread my hands. “You, yourself, are a walking pube machine.”