Page 75 of The Diamond in the Rough

I didn’t regret finding Ward through his dreams, either. Following the faint trace of magic that I barely understood was pushing back against the spreading darkness that tainted the threads of magic Mason called ‘ley lines.’ It had been… stronger than the others. Like a bright chime instead of a sour, nasal note. One I’d tried for weeks to follow, until I’d managed to find him and beg him to save me. All of us.

I could hardly regret that.

I regretted ever pushing myself into Raj’s dreams.

Because in doing so, I’d lost whatever slight chance I might have ever had at finding out what kissing him in real life was like.

14

Her thumb rubbedover the stone, the pressure familiar and reassuring. It calmed her while she sat waiting to meet her new boss at the FBI.

I blew out a breath,annoyed.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, sunshine, Sylvia told me in a tone that I’m sure was meant to be reassuring.

It would be easier if I could make any actual progress, I retorted. I had gone back to Cass’s worry stone so that there wouldn’t be any additional unpleasant surprises while I tried to figure out how to stay aware of the world around me while experiencing other people’s memories.

So far, I wasn’t having much success.

Over the past few days, I’d essentially thrown myself into trying to improve my psychic abilities, not because I thought that would somehow endear me to Raj again or make him forgive me, but because at least if I could be helpful, it might show that I was committed to the case itself, and that I wasn’t some sort of stalker.

He probably wasn’t going to forgive me, but I could hope, at least, that I’d be able to keep helping on the case. Or, if not this one, then some future case.

Or maybe I’d never work a case for the FBI again. Maybe I’d have to settle for the extremely rare occasion when Detective Maza would bring me something, or send it through Seth Mays, but that was pretty rare. Ward and Mason were far more useful to the police than I was.

I wanted to be able to do something more. To be appreciated for something more than just answering phones and occasionally determining if something was or wasn’t a murder weapon.

What do you think is stopping you?Sylvia asked.

I glared at her.If I knew that, I’d fix it.

Sunshine, you’ve made incredible progress,she informed me.You can’t expect to suddenly be able to do everything you want, just like that. But, she continued,you can try to figure out what’s happening.

What’s happening is that the second I touch something, I’m… overwhelmed. Swamped. Like a tidal wave.

Well, then try to think of it like a wave,she replied.

I stared at her, uncomprehending.

Haven’t you ever played in the waves at the beach?she asked me.

No. Have you?

She smiled.Arthur and I used to go out to Virginia Beach, she replied.You have to jump into the waves,she continued.When they come in, you aim for the crest and either have to jump high enough to keep your head above water, or dive in and come through the other side if it’s too high.

Is that supposed to be helpful?I asked her.

Think of it as a metaphor, she replied, her empty eyes sparkling.

So I’m supposed to jump or dive?I had no idea what that meant, metaphorically speaking.

Exactly.

I rolled my eyes.I feel like diving in is precisely the problem.

Dive through, not in, came her response.

Right. Through.