Page 56 of Forgotten Vows

I feel dizzy with how quickly things have shifted. But something in me is drawn toward this idea, seduced by it. The thought of having that much power over him, of releasing all of this hurt and anger and fear inside of me, taking it out on him while he takes out years of pent-up desire on me, both of us exorcising our demons together…

He won't let me go. But maybe… maybe this is a way we can set each other free.

"I want you to know that you have control. That you can stop me.That you're not helpless. Not with me. Never with me." He never stops looking at me as he says it, and I can feel the tension in every muscle of his body.

I stare at him, my mind racing, my heart pounding so hard I can barely breathe. This is insane. This is?—

But God, I want it. I want to feel like I have control again.

I want to feel like I matter. Like my choices matter.

And maybe Lachlan is the only man who can give this to me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he does understand, and this is his way of showing me.

And maybe I really am the only woman who can give him what he needs.

"What's the word?" My voice is barely a whisper.

"Anything you want." His hands slide down to my neck, his thumbs resting against my pulse. "Pick something you'll remember. Something that means something to you."

I think for a moment, my mind spinning. And then it comes to me.

"Someday." My voice cracks on the word. "That's what you said to me ten years ago. You said someday you'd come back for me."

His eyes close, and I can see the pain flash across his face. "Someday," he repeats. "That's your word. You say it, and I stop. I promise you, Adriana. No matter what."

I nod, and I can feel my whole body trembling. "Okay."

"Okay?" His eyes open, something dark and hungry in them that makes my stomach clench. "You're saying yes?"

"Yes." The word comes out breathless. "Yes. I want—I want to feel like I have control again. I want…" My voice shudders. "I want you."

His eyes widen, a groan tearing from his lips as if those three words have set him on fire, and his mouth crashes against mine.

The kiss is hard and demanding, almost brutal, and I gasp against his lips. His hands are in my hair, gripping tight, tilting my head back, and I can feel the desperation in him, the need, the ten years of wanting that he's been holding back.

I push against his chest, and he growls, his teeth catching mybottom lip. I shove harder, and he stumbles back a step, his eyes blazing.

"Fight me," he says, his voice rough. "Show me you're not afraid."

So I do.

I hit him, my fists connecting with his chest, and he lets me. Lets me push and shove and scream at him, all the rage and fear and helplessness of the past ten years pouring out of me. He grabs my hair again in his fist, dragging my mouth back to his, and I throw myself against him, a breathless moan escaping me as I feel his throbbing cock threatening to tear out of his pants, pressed against me.

Sobs spill from my lips and into his, and I kick at him, trying to wrench away. He spins me, catching my wrists, and pins them above my head against the wall. "You done?" His voice is low and dangerous. My heartbeat picks up even faster, the danger and the look in his eyes terrifying me.What if he doesn't stop? What if I say it, and he won't let me go?

But this is Lachlan. No matter what he's done, no matter what he's become, there's one thing I know he would never do to me.

If I say stop, he will. And that makes the terror feel almost cathartic. A way to work through the worst fears in my mind, the horrible scenarios that kept me awake in Gio's house, knowing I can stop it at any time.

"Fuck you." The words are a sob, and he smiles, dark and predatory.

"That's the plan."

He lifts me, tossing me over his shoulder, and I scream, kicking at his legs and pounding my fists against his back. He growls, bringing one hand down sharply on my ass, the spank reverberating through my body and making me moan helplessly. I feel the wetness gathering between my legs, heat suffusing my veins until I feel like I'm on fire, and even as I'm twisting and kicking against his hold, I want this so desperately it almost hurts.

He kicks open the door to his bedroom and carries me inside. The room is dark, lit only by the city lights streaming through the floor-to-ceiling window at one side of the room, and he drops me on the bed, his body covering mine before I can move.

"Say the word," he murmurs against my ear. "Say it, and I stop."