Page 20 of Forgotten Vows

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry—" I reach for him, but he backs away, his eyes wide and wet with tears. I can see the fear in them and the confusion, and it breaks something inside me. I'm supposed to protect him, and instead I'm falling apart right in front of him.

"You're scaring him." Lachlan's voice cuts through my panic, sharp and commanding. "Adriana, you need to calm down?—"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I whirl on him, my vision blurring with tears. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down or how to handlemyson, when you're the one who did this, who took us, who?—"

Matteo moves so fast I don't have time to react. One second he's standing there crying, and the next he's launching himself at Lachlan. His small fists are swinging, his voice high and furious as he screams. "Leave my mama alone! Don't hurt her!"

"Matteo, no—" I lunge forward, but Lachlan is faster, catching Matteo's wrists before his fists can connect. He holds him at arm's length while Matteo kicks and struggles and screams.

"I'm not hurting her," Lachlan says, his voice calm despite Matteo's thrashing. "I would never hurt her."

"Let him go!" I claw at Lachlan's arms, trying to pull Matteo away,and my heart is pounding so hard I think it might burst out of my chest. "Let him go right now!"

"Adriana—"

"I said let him go!" My voice breaks, and I can feel myself spiraling, the edges of my control fraying and snapping. I know I'm losing it, but I can't stop. I can't pull myself back from the edge. "Please, please just let him go?—"

Lachlan's eyes meet mine, and something in his expression softens. He releases Matteo's wrists.

Matteo immediately throws himself at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my stomach. I hold him tight, my hands shaking as I stroke his hair and murmur soothing words in Italian.

"Cormac." Lachlan's voice is quiet, and I look up to see him gesturing to one of the men who came with us. "Take the boy to the back cabin. Make sure he's comfortable."

"No." The word comes out as a gasp, and I tighten my grip on Matteo. "No, you're not taking him away from me?—"

"Adriana, he doesn't need to see this?—"

"See what?" My voice is rising again, hysteria creeping back in.

"See you like this." Lachlan's voice is gentle now, almost tender, and it makes my chest ache. "He's terrified, Adriana. He needs to be somewhere calm while we figure this out."

"He needs to be with me." I back away, pulling Matteo with me. "He needs his mother."

"And he'll have you." Lachlan nods to Cormac, who moves forward slowly, carefully, like he's approaching a wild animal. "In a few minutes. Once you've calmed down."

"I am calm!" But I know I'm not calm at all. I'm shaking so hard my teeth are chattering, and my vision is starting to blur at the edges. I can feel my breath coming in short, sharp gasps that aren't bringing in enough oxygen, and there's a roaring in my ears.

"Mama?" Matteo's voice is small, muffled against my stomach. "Mama, I can't breathe."

I look down and realize I'm holding him too tight. I loosen mygrip, but I can't let go. If I do they'll take him away, they'll take my baby away, and I'll be alone, and I can't be alone, I can't?—

"Adriana." Lachlan is closer now, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off his body. His hand comes up to cup my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone. "Look at me."

I do. I can't help it. His eyes are so blue, so familiar, and for a second I'm back in the garden, back in that moment before everything fell apart. I want to lean into his touch, let him hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.

But nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.

"You need to let him go," Lachlan says softly. "Just for a little while. Just until you can breathe again."

"I can breathe." But I can't. My chest is tight, and each breath feels like I'm trying to inhale through a straw. The roaring in my ears is getting louder, drowning out everything else.

"Adriana—"

"Don't." I shake my head, trying to pull away from his touch, but there's nowhere to go. "Don't touch me. Don't?—"

Matteo is crying again, his small body shaking against mine. I can hear him saying something, but I can't make out the words over the roaring in my ears, the sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my skull.

"Cormac, take him." Lachlan's voice is commanding, and I feel hands on Matteo as he's pulled away from me. I try to hold on, but my grip is weakening, my strength failing.