Page 72 of Reaper's Desire

I think of every time I touched him, teased him, tried to get him to touch me back. All the messy, complicated feelings that have been building between us. The most insane, romantic, chaotic thing that's ever happened to me with a man, and it's all been built on a lie.

"I'm sorry." His voice drops, and he sounds so fucking tired it would almost make me hurt for him, if I weren't so angry. "I know that doesn't mean anything. I know it doesn't change what I did. But I'm sorry, Isabelle. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Sorry." I laugh sharply. "You're sorry. You were hired to kill me, you seduced me, you made me trust you, you made me?—"

I stop and swallow hard. "You made me feel safe. You made me feel protected. You made me think that maybe—that maybe there was something real between us. And it was all a lie."

"It wasn't all a lie. Isabelle, please, you have to understand—" He rises up, as if he's going to come to me, and I grab some of my clothing and back away.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare fucking touch me!"

He stops. His hand drops, and the devastation on his face makes me want to hurt him the way he's hurt me. "Every moment we've shared," I say, my voice shaking with rage and grief. "Every conversation. Every touch. Every time you looked at me like I mattered—it was all built on a lie. You were supposed to kill me, Julian. You were supposed to murder me. And instead you—you?—"

"I started to care about you. I wasn't supposed to. I've never felt like that for anyone. But I…"

The words should make this hurt less, but they don't. "You care about the woman you were hired to kill. How romantic."

"Isabelle—"

"No." I shake my head as I start to yank my clothing back on. "No. You don't get to make this about your feelings. You don't get to tell me you feel something for me and expect that to fix this. You lied to me. You've been lying to me since the moment you recognized me in Ibiza."

"I know."

"Every kiss was a lie. Every time you touched me…"

"That's not?—"

"Yes, it is!" I scream as I yank my clothing into place. "That's exactly what it is! You were hired to murder me, Julian. Someone paid you to end my life. And instead of telling me the truth, you made me trust you. You made me depend on you. You made me?—"

I can't say it. I can't admit out loud what I was starting to feel for him. But he knows. I can see it in his eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you," he says quietly. "I was trying to keep you alive."

"By lying to me. By making me think you were something you're not."

"I am exactly what I am. I'm a killer, Isabelle. I've been a killer for years. I've murdered more people than I can count. I'm not a good man. I've never pretended to be. But with you, I pretended so that I could do one good thing, so I could help you…"

"I don't believe you. I don't believe anything you say anymore."

He flinches like I've struck him, and I'm glad. I want him to hurt the way I'm hurting.

"I need you to listen to me." His voice is urgent now. "There are assassins actively hunting you. They're professionals, and they're closing in. Without my protection?—"

"Your protection." I laugh. "Your protection is a lie."

"It's not a lie. The danger is real. If you leave?—"

"I don't care." I start toward the door. "I don't care about the danger. I don't care about the assassins. I don't care about anything except getting away from you."

"Isabelle, please?—"

"I never want to see you again! Do you understand? I never want to see you again. I'd rather take my chances alone than spend another second with you."

"You'll die." He sounds desperate now. "Without my help, you'll be dead within days."

"Then I'll die. At least I'll die knowing the truth. At least I won't die thinking someone cared about me when they were just—just—" I can't finish. He was supposed to kill me. And instead, he made me fall for him while lying through his teeth the entire time.

"You don't understand what you're up against." Julian's voice is urgent now, pleading. "These aren't amateurs, Isabelle. They're professionals, and they will find you."