Page 91 of A Silence So Divine

Without a word, I slide the text forward, knocking Cecil’s book out from in front of him. His eyes narrow in agitation, but when I incline my chin towards the page, he pulls it closer and scans it. I watch his gaze flick back and forth, rereading the same two paragraphs.

Finally, he sighs, and meets my awaiting stare.

Though it looks to pain him, he raises his right hand and signs,“OK”.

Project Get-Eden-To-Accept-Her-Creepy-Powers is a go.

Thirty Eight

Eden

Sleep evades me.

Creed came down hours ago, double checking that I didn’t want to share his bed tonight. There was a slump to his shoulders, a wariness in the way he rubbed his palms together. I explained that I needed time alone, but I’d seek him out if the heaviness became too much. With a sad smile and a kiss to my cheek, he retreated to his room.

I do not deserve him.

Now, I sit alone on my dead father’s bed, with my dead mother’s journal cradled in my lap. Papa’s journal is on the nightstand; I only managed to read the first few pages. To know how he truly felt about me was more jarring than I expected. A full year hasn’t even passed since his departure, but I’ve already forgotten the magnitude of his hatred—the lengths he went to snuff out the Darkness within me. The Darkness that, according to my mother’s words, isn’t Darkness at all.

It’s her pages that I can’t wrap my mind around. Something about my father's were so simple. He despised me for who I am at my core, and that was the end of it. But my mother…

She loved me. Sheknewme. Even before getting pregnant, she claimed to have dreamt of me more than once.

Page after page, I step into the mind of the woman that gave me life. Her own Gift didn’t manifest until she was a teenager, and like me, she was horrified by her abilities. What started as gut feelings soon turned into premonitions. It was a burden, to know so much yet nothing at all. It overwhelmed her.

It was only when she began her research on the Fates that she learned to appreciate it. With the help of Veda, the two dug up as much information as they could with limited resources. They practiced, and prayed, and begged for guidance. Until one day, it clicked. And my mother knew.

It’s here where the entries are more difficult for me to stomach.

The Fates are fickle about power. The giving, the taking. I knew, from the moment I dreamt you, that you were to be the catalyst of change. That you were the answer to so many prayers.

That is why, darling girl, I chose to make a bargain. Power for power, my life for yours. Whether it was a choice or not is impossible to know, as everything is meant to be as it should.

She sacrificed herself to give me life.

The entries go on to explain how she chose my father, wishing to find someone in the Brothers of Divinity. There aren’t too many details on their relationship, and for that I’m grateful.

My mother was a cunning woman. We may look similar, but I can’t help realizing how cowardly I am in comparison.

Absently, I finger the chain on my neck.

Skipping ahead, I open to the very last entry. The one that makes my limbs grow cold, even after reading it a dozen times.

It fills me with fear, and anguish, but most of all: acceptance. For as long as I can remember, I questioned my role in this life.If I had a purpose, it was lost on me. But now, with my mother’s hurried scrawl staring back at me, it’s clear.

I’m no enemy, I’m no hero. I’m a means to an end. And that’s better than nothing.

My darling dove, do not fear ends, for they are also beginnings. When the time comes, welcome the light. You are made of it.

We will be waiting when the skies clear.

Cecil drops the two of us off at the Refuge. He has business to attend to at the Sanctuary, but he wants us to continue our training. Well, he wantsCreedto continue, and I can’t be left alone. I tried to put up a fight, saying I wasn’t sure I should be around the others. The brothers shared a look and told me I couldn’t live in fear. Easy for them to say. Still, I relented. If my mother could, then I can try.

Window rolled down, Cecil signs for Creed and I to be good, his expression comically sincere.

“No problem, Dad!”Creed waves goodbye excitedly, teeth flashing.“We’ll miss you!”

I can’t help my wide smile, so I hide it behind my fingers. Cecil rolls his eyes, raises his middle finger, and drives off. In the side mirror, I see him watching us. When I wave, his gaze flicks forward.