Page 34 of A Silence So Divine

Later that night, I sit on Creed’s bedside while he eats his soup.

“It’s okay,”he says, sniffling as he chews.“But you overcooked the noodles."

Fifteen

Eden

In early March, an unseasonably warm week melts the frost and softens the earth. The pond is no longer frozen over, and tiny tufts of grass have begun to poke through the desolate fields. The skies are perfectly clear today, and the sunlight beaming through the kitchen window warms me in my seat. My eyes are closed as I bask in the rays, my breakfast sat neglected.

The table scoots back and forth beneath my palms. I pop an eye open.

“I bet the fish are out,”Creed says as he chews a large bite of pancakes.

“You think so?”I ask, glancing toward the window.

Creed shrugs, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.“Probably, it’s been warm all week.”

Attempting to tamp down my excitement, I force the fork past my lips. It’s been so long since we’ve been to the pond.

Twenty-some-odd minutes later, my boots are suctioning to the mud at the edges of the water, and I’m clutching Creed’s arm to keep my balance. Along the shoreline, I see flashes of silver that indicate minnows are fluttering around. Shoulder toshoulder, we squat on the edge and watch attentively. I don’t so much as breathe too heavily, in fear they’ll get spooked and swim away. As slow as I can, I tickle my fingertips along the water’s surface. It’s cold, but not terrible. Some fish dart away, but after a minute, they return, checking out the odd creature that dances with them.

I grin and turn to Creed, who returns it instantly. The two of us find joy in the little things. You’ve got to, when your world is so small.

A few minnows nibble the pads of my fingers and I giggle under my breath, fighting the urge to twitch at the tickle. In the shadowed water, I can barely make out what appears to be the silhouette of a much larger fish. I lean forward, digging one hand into the edge of the embankment to keep my balance. The newcomer creeps closer, probably eyeing my fingers as it’s next meal. I’m completely enthralled, not daring to move a muscle.

Time stretches, and I wait with baited breath. Six inches, five inches, four inches. The water ripples as it nears.

Oblivious to my surroundings, I don’t see that Creed also leans forward, both of his arms outstretched. A loud splash has me rearing back and I fall onto my bottom, frantically looking around.

Eyes alight with victory, Creed holds the large fish in front of my face and whoops.

"Put it back!”I demand, baring my teeth. His triumph is gone in an instant, red creeping up from the collar of his shirt.

“Right now! Put it back right now!”I’m trembling with rage, and I reach forward to take it from his hands. The fish thrashes in Creed’s grip, flying into the air and smacking the ground. A gasp flies from my lips. I crawl toward the panicked animal, mud caking in between my fingers.

The two of us frantically try to scoop it up, but it flips and flops and I’m worried I’ll hurt it. Creed grabs it repeatedly, but it slips through his fingers and falls to the dirt.

Finally, he’s able to hold onto it long enough to launch it backwards. It hits the water with a loud plop and disappears into the darkness.

Creed stands by the water, catching his breath with his hands on his hips. Stomping toward him, I shove both of my palms against his chest, leaving soiled handprints. He stumbles back, stupefied.

“Are you insane!?”I sign furiously. He throws his hands up.

“It’s a fish! I didn’t hurt it!”His defense only upsets me further.

“What if someone did that to you?”

He scoffs, but doesn’t reply.

“They’ll never trust me again because of you!”Tears well in my eyes, but I will them away. Tucking my lips between my teeth, I bite down and use the sting to muffle my emotions.

Creed’s expression softens a bit, and he takes a step like he might reach for me. I step back.

“It’s fine. It’s only a fish,”he repeats gently. Why does he keep saying that? “Only a fish?” Is it lesser because it’s different? What would he think if he really knew what I am?

“You are just like him.”The words are written into the air before I can consider whether or not I mean them. I regret them immediately, but I don’t take it back.

Creed’s eye twitches, and this time he takes a step away fromme.“Like who?”He asks. The quivers in his jaw tells me he knows exactly who I mean. He wants me to say it.