Page 116 of A Silence So Divine

She simply looks back at me as if to say,Isn’t it?My fight dissolves, and I’m suddenly very, very exhausted.

“I only want you to be able to protect yourself.” My fingers catch in my hair as I tug on the ends. “I’m not expecting you to go out as some soldier.No oneis expecting that of you. I’ve made it perfectly clear what your role is.”

“Which is?”

My first reaction is to say the truth, which would be, “I have no fucking clue”, but I pause and think on it. There’s a beat of silence before I finally respond with,

“You’re one of us. That’s all.”

Eden still looks at me with unease, so I take steps forward until I can reach her hands. Folding one of hers into both of mine, I trace the pale blue veins beneath her skin. She pulls herself back, and a frown forms on my lips until she begins signing.

“I cannot hurt you.”

“It’s for practice. I’ll be fine—”

“You don’t understand. I’ve tried,”she insists, staring up at me imploringly. “It won’t let me. I think it’sbecause of…” Her lower lip falters, and she looks down at our feet. “What I feel for you.”

Despite my efforts to forget them, her words from the night on the beach slam into me.

My chest aches as I peer down at her. I heave out an exhale. I really, really do not want to have this conversation. It’s selfish of me, but it feelswrong. I don’t deserve it. But I want it. And those two warring emotions take up too much real estate in a mind that is already being pulled in a thousand different directions.

“Okay,” I mutter. Her eyes snap to mine, overflowing with relief. “Okay. We’ll figure something else out.”

Spindly arms wrap around my waist, and the flyaway hairs on the top of Eden’s head tickle my chin as I rest it there.

“You don’t need to worry about me, ya know,” I mumble into the breeze.

Eden’s scoff is muffled by the fabric of my shirt. I can’t help but grin.

Forty Eight

Creed

Ever since our spat, Cecil and I have hardly spoken to one another. There was no follow up conversation to clear the air, no apology, nothing. We’re both stubborn to a fault, neither willing to broach the subject and make amends. Even when he informed Eden and I of the fast approaching battle, the conversation was cut and dry. My mind was filled to the brim with questions, but I settled for a shrug and an assent. And Cecil being Cecil, he offered no further information.

God, what an asshole.

I’ll admit that the convoluted relationship he has with Eden bothers me. But, despite what he thinks, it’s not stemming from jealousy.

I’m concerned. Forbothof them.

Although my interactions with people have been limited, I can safely say that my brother is the most emotionally unavailable person within a two hundred mile radius. The guy exudes apathy at every turn. And he’s making a move on Eden? The girl who is the epitome of vulnerability?

Yeah. It’s not going to end well for either of them. And when Eden inevitably gets her heart shattered, I’m going to have to choose a side. Excuse me for not wanting to get in the middle of that train wreck.

However, I would choose Eden over him. Obviously.

My train of thought has completely derailed, and beneath the suds of sink water, I crack a glass with my too-vigorous scrubbing. And to make matters worse, the muse of my suffering marches into the kitchen and stomps until he garners my attention. Just to be a bastard, I pretend I don’t notice him for a solid thirty seconds.

“Are you ready?”

“We trained this morning.”Soapy bubbles fling from the tips of my fingers as I sign. One lands on his cheek and I have to bite back my petty grin.

“Good memory,” he snarks, swiping at his face. “We’re a week out and you need all the help you can get.”

“I’m cleaning,” I try.

“Finish it later. Come.”