Page 99 of The Vixen

My eyes close as I hear my mother’s voice reading the words aloud from a book she kept beneath her mattress like it was contraband. She used to read me these as bedtime stories, and no matter how many times I asked what they meant, she never gave a straight answer.

“Don’t listen to the words. Feel them,”she would say.

I wish I could tell her I feel them now.

Breath fogging in the cold air, I snap the stem and bring the flower to my chest, cradling the petals as if snowflakes will shatter them. I walk the rest of the way to the Keep while my toes numb, and by the time I make it inside, my hood has collected a layer of snow that spills onto the tiled entryway.

My shoes squeak as I head up the stairs, and when I get to Luna’s door, I slip them off and abandon them in the hall.

Her light is off when I crack the door open, and when I step inside, she doesn’t stir. She’s facing away from me, just as Liberty had. And like Liberty, she merely pretends to be asleep.

Pulling the covers back with one hand, I lay the flower in front of her and silently climb into bed behind her. My arm locks around her stomach as I flatten my chest against her back, my groin settling against her rear.

I think about telling her that I’m sorry. That I shouldn’t have pushed. That I won’t ever do it again.

Instead, I kiss her hair, close my eyes, and go to sleep.

CHAPTER 26

SAWYER

The next morning, I’m in the library going on hour three of a chat with Iris when boots thud through the entryway.

My attention flickers, my gaze lifting to Aiden for a millisecond before I return to the screen. I type out half a sentence before pausing. I look up—frown.

Hands cupped in front of him, he shuffles his feet. Beads of sweat have broken out on his forehead, but it’s the grimace crinkling his eyes that makes my pulse skip.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t find the Head Keeper,” he says. “Have you seen her?”

My jaw slackens as I stand, but I’m not quick to speak. The last time I saw Luna, she was curled against me; the smooth rhythm of her breath lulled me to sleep. When I woke, she was gone. Her side of the bed was made as if she’d never been there.

“She probably just went for a run,” I say, though I don’t know where Luna goes or what she does.

“I need her.Now.” He shuffles in the doorway like I’m hiding the answer. When I don’t give it, I assume he’ll leave. He doesn’t.

Does he think I hurt her?

“Aiden,what’s wrong?”

Arching into the hall, he peeks toward the staircase. It’s a simple thing, but it raises the hairs on my arms.

Didsomeone hurt her?

He rights himself and walks toward the desk, shoulders lifted and steps careful. “Mating ceremonies aresacred,” he says, voice low. “They’re to be celebrated for the joyous occasion they are. Children conceived in shame will live in shame, and our society prospers because of ourdifferencesfrom the outside world.”

I blink twice before realizing he’s finished. My hand sweeps air. “All right.”

His mouth opens only to be covered by his fist.

“Aiden.”

No response.

“What is happening?”

Again, no response.