Page 121 of The Illusion
"And now you're leaving anyway." Her voice breaks. "You're choosing to lose everything."
"Yes. We’ll lose the storefront but once I sell the house we can start fresh and–”
I stop because she stands up abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor. She comes around the table and pulls me into a hug so tight I can barely breathe.
"I would've lost everything nine months ago," she says fiercely. "Gladly. If it meant you were happy instead of—" Her voice catches. "Instead of watching the light go out of your eyes."
I start crying. I can't help it. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."
"Don't you dare apologize." She pulls back and cups my face in her hands. "You were trapped. You were doing what you had to do. But you're not trapped anymore."
"No," I agree. "I'm not."
She hugs me again, and we stay like that for a long time. When we finally pull apart, Ryan is standing by the window, his arms crossed, his jaw tight.
"You're not losing shit," he says.
I blink. "What?"
He turns to face me. "I'm going to give you the money to pay it back. You will not lose your business because of Asher fucking Stevens and his wandering dick."
My heart clenches. "Ryan?—"
"I'm serious. I'll write the check today. Whatever the amount is, I'll cover it. You keep the business. You keep the building and all of the real estate around it. You keep everything."
"Ryan, I can't?—"
"Yes, you can."
"No." I stand up. "I can't."
He watches me, waiting to see what I'm going to say.
"I have to do this myself," I say firmly.
Ryan's expression hardens. "That's bullshit."
"It's not."
"You're going to lose everything because of pride?"
"It's not about pride." My voice rises. "It's about taking back control."
He stares at me. I take a breath and try to explain. "Since I met Asher, I've let other people dictate my decisions. Asher manipulated me with lies. Dean trapped me with money. I lost years of my life because I let them both lock me in, in different ways."
"This is different," Ryan says.
"Is it?" I look at him. "You're offering to take care of it for me. To fix it. To make it go away. And I appreciate it more than I can say. I do. But if I let you do this, then I'm just trading one cage for another."
"That's not?—"
"It is." I step closer. "If you pay off the debt, I'll never feel like the business is mine. I'll always know that you saved it. That I couldn't do it myself. That I needed someone to rescue me."
"I don't want to be rescued anymore. I want to stand on my own two feet. I want to make my own choices. Even if they're hard. Even if they hurt."
Ryan's jaw tightens. "So you're just going to let him win."
"No." I shake my head. "I'm going to let myself win. By choosing honesty and freedom over money and control."
