Page 53 of The Way Home

It was too much, it was all too much.

“Jamie, use your tools. I know they’re teaching you things in therapy. Come on, use them.”

Wracking his brain for what the therapist had taught him, Jamie took a breath in and tried to count to four. He let out a shaky breath and tried to draw it out to six.

“Listen to me, J.” He took another breath in, but his throat felt too tight. He nodded, trying to indicate to Ellie that he’d heard her. “No one blames you for what happened. No one, okay? Not me, not Caleb, not your mum. No one. We are in this for the long haul with you, alright?”

The tight dread behind his ribs let up a tad.

“I will tell you every single story from the last few years, Jamie. If that’s what it takes.”

He shook his head. “But you shouldn’t have to do that for me. It’s not your job to fix—”

“Hey now.”Ellie’s stern voice made Jamie’s head shoot up. She shifted on the couch and donned her no-nonsense nurse tone. “You listen to me, James Collins. Are you going to tell me that if I got hit by a fucking bus and neededyou”—she poked him hard in the shoulder—“that you wouldn’t be there for me?”

“Of course I would,” Jamie whispered, another tear escaping down his cheek. “Of course. That’s not what I—”

“Exactly.You would be here. With me. You’d make me really terrible French toast because you’re ahorriblecook and remind me of all the shit that fell out of my brain, right?” She poked him again,and this time, he looked into her brown eyes. “Because you love me. And that’s what people do for other people they love.”

Jamie sniffed and wiped his tears, trying his best to collect himself. He nodded, trying to convince himself that she was right. He would do that for her, so he could let her do that for him.

Ellie picked her plate back up and continued on like nothing had happened. “What are you wearing out with Caleb tonight? On your date.”

“I have no idea.”

She stuffed a piece of syrupy bread into her mouth and talked around it. “You should wear the navy suit. Your arse looks incredible in it.”

A few hours later, Jamie left her flat feeling a million times lighter. He even smiled at someone on the Tube.

Caleb was tired,hungry, and his back hurt. Liverpool fans were assholes, and he’d almost had to break up a fight after the game.Again.

All he wanted right now was a hot shower and Jamie. Fucking shit, he missed Jamie. Even when he was with him, he missed him. He wanted to get home, pull Jamie into their soft bed, and forget all about their fancy dinner plans.

Last year on Valentine’s Day, the two of them had beensowrapped up in each other that they’d missed their reservation and had to order takeaway late in the evening. God, the things he would do right now to hear Jamie’s soft whines, his groans of pleasure as Caleb took his time with him…

Okay, he really needed to stop thinking about last Valentine’s Day because, otherwise, he’d get a boner. Here. On the bus back from Liverpool, with his team. Coach Halcome already thought every gay person was a depraved monster—he didn’t need to give him any reason to believe they were perverts, too.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket and texted Ellie.

How’s he doing?

Ellie’s little bubble appeared and then went away. Caleb frowned at his phone until it dinged.

Ellie

Not great.

Caleb frantically typed out a message asking what the hell had happened, but Ellie was faster.

Ellie

He’s safe.

Caleb exhaled.

Ellie

Just had a bit of a cry. I told him about Will and he got overwhelmed.