Page 41 of The Way Home

Right.

Caleb was starting to hate that word.

He tucked the bag back into the closet. “I know it’s kind of late, so, uh, well, everything’s in the bedroom for you. I put your bag in there. I’m still off work for the next few days, so I will be around. If you, uh, need anything.” When had he become so fucking awkward?

“Thank you.” Jamie stared down into his tea and then glanced at the bedroom. “Will you… Are you also going to—?”

“Oh, no. I’m sleeping on the couch,” Caleb said quickly, pointing towards the pillow and blanket he put out for himself.

“What?” Jamie’s gaze snapped up in alarm. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the sofa in your own home.”

“It’sourhome, and I don’t mind. It’s important for you to get sleep and rest. Our couch is perfectly comfortable. Trust me, we fall asleep out here all the time.”

Jamie’s gaze flicked to the couch, as if he were conjuring an image of them snuggled up and watching a movie. His green eyes softened with something that looked a lot like longing.

If this were any other day, Caleb would move around the counter and slide his arms around Jamie’s shoulders. He would pull him tight to his chest until the tension melted out of him and press his nose into his curls. Jamie’s mouth would open on a sigh, his thick eyelashes fluttering shut over sleepy eyes, and Caleb would say into the skin of his neck,“It will be okay, sweetheart.”

But this wasn’t any other day. And Jamie wouldn’t want that. Would heeverwant that again?

Caleb quickly killed that miserable train of thought and said, “I’ll just brush my teeth real quick, and then the room is yours.”

Caleb bolted to their bathroom and quickly freshened up. With great determination, he tried to avoid looking at his reflection. Hehadn’t been getting much sleep lately and probably looked like actual garbage. A shower would be needed in the morning, and he’d have plenty of time to take one while Jamie was on his morning bike ride—

He froze with his toothbrush hanging from his mouth. Shit. Jamie wasn’t allowed to bike. What would Jamie do tomorrow if he couldn’t go for a morning ride? Caleb had neverknowna Jamie who couldn’t go on his morning ride.

This whole fucked up situation was so hard for Caleb, but he couldn’t even fathom how hard it was for Jamie. How miserable it must be for him to not be able to do the things he loved. Or, even, feel like himself. Caleb was so focused on how this affectedhimand his future with Jamie—their wedding plans and all of their dreams.

Forcing himself to look in the mirror, Caleb made a promise that, no matter what, he would help Jamie get back to feeling like himself.

Even if it meant losing him.

Jamie stood frozenbeside the telly, tea cooling in his hand. He couldn’t stop staring at the framed photograph that hung on the wall. It was centered between a photo of Caleb holding a football at Ohio State and one of him with a woman. A family member, perhaps. She had the same warm, brown skin and brown eyes, possibly a few years younger than him.

In the center photo, he and Caleb were dressed up for some sort of function—a wedding, maybe—caught mid-laughter over a long-forgotten joke. Photograph Jamie stared straight into the camera, eyes squinting with laughter. Caleb had an arm around his shoulders, staring at Jamie like he was the sun itself.

A hurricane of emotions slammed into Jamie so hard he wobbled. For a split second, he swore he could feel the ghost of Caleb’s hand around his shoulder.

A flicker of joy bloomed in his chest for the version ofhimself who looked so bloody happy, quickly crushed by a pang of… jealousy? Resentment? He couldn’t be sure.

Photograph Jamie looked so comfortable in his own skin. Confident and assured and extremelynothow he felt today. Or any day, really.

The last feeling to settle into his chest was a deep, endless sadness. What had happened to the love in that photo? To what those two men shared? Had it vanished the moment the bus took him off his bike?

This moment was gone.Gone.And he could never, ever get it back…

“Jamie?”

“Yeah?” Jamie sniffed and wiped his face. Fucking hell, when had he started crying?

“Jamie?” Caleb’s voice turned more urgent and was a bit closer now. Jamie turned his head away from it.

“Oh, love—” Caleb’s hand landed on Jamie’s shoulder. It lingered a moment before he pulled it back, as if he thought better of it.

Jamie felt its loss immediately. “I’m okay. I’m so sorry. Not sure why I’m getting so bloody emotional over a photograph.”

When he turned, Caleb’s brown eyes were narrowed with concern. He glanced at the photograph and then back to Jamie.

“I know it’s a lot. I’m sorry, I tried to take anything down that might be… triggering. I forgot about this one.”