Page 77 of Wild

"Turned on and dying to get you out of that suit."

Erin clears her throat and glances sideways at Noah, but he's off in his own world and hasn't caught any of it.

"You look incredible, seriously," Mia says. "Want to sit?"

There's an awkward beat, because the singer's instinct is to reach for Erin's hand — but she catches herself the moment her fingers graze her, feels Erin stiffen, and pulls back immediately.

Their reserved seats are in the front row, right next to Abigail and Taylor, and Erin settles in with her body rigid, wishing she were sitting somewhere in the middle where they'd draw less attention.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let Jude seat you next to me."

Mia is on edge too — not because of where they're sitting, but because she can feel Erin's unease, and it affects her in a way she didn't expect.

She'd been so looking forward to sharing a moment like this with her, even knowing perfectly well that Erin isn't hergirlfriend and that touching her in public wasn't an option. But she's falling for this woman. And watching the doctor grip the armrests like she's about to break them makes something tighten in Mia's chest, because she would have liked to think that just being there beside her was enough to help Erin breathe.

"It's fine, don't worry," the doctor says — but her eyes keep darting to the cameras scattered everywhere, and she tenses when one of them, sliding sideways along a mounted rail, stops in front of them for a few seconds before moving on.

Mia doesn't answer. She'd like to reach over and take Erin's hand, tell her everything's okay, that after a few minutes here she'll stop noticing the cameras — but she can't show any affection, because within seconds it would be all over social media with a headline about Mia Wilder and her new girlfriend.

"Think of it like you're at the movies with your girl. Works for me," she hears from her other side.

She turns and finds the cool gaze of Abigail Stone, who looks just as uncomfortable as Erin does — and yet she's sitting there with one leg crossed over the other and her fingers laced through Taylor's between the seats, so maybe not quite.

"I'll try that. I'm Erin."

She extends her hand, and Abigail looks at her for a second before releasing Taylor and shaking it.

"Abigail. You can try the movie trick, or you can throw back a couple of whiskeys next time. That works too."

Erin nods, and Abigail turns back to Taylor as the younger woman says something to her. The doctor looks up, following the track of the moving camera, turning over the woman's words in her mind.Next time.Would there be a next time before her contract with the singer ended? And after? Erin doesn't want to think about that right now, but she can't help it, and she turns back to Mia. The singer looks more serious than Erin has ever seen her, hands folded in her lap, tracing something invisible onher left palm with one finger — as if that's the only thing she knows how to do to keep herself from the dread rising inside her.

"Mia," Erin whispers — but the singer doesn't hear her, or if she does, she's too far inside herself to surface. "Hey," the doctor leans slightly toward her, and Mia slowly tilts her head in her direction.

"What?" she asks, twisting her hands together.

"It's not you. It's this place that makes me nervous, but—"

Erin has to stop because someone walks out onstage and announces they're starting in thirty seconds. But Mia can't let it sit there — the last thing she needs is to spend the entire gala with that unfinished sentence lodged in her chest.

"But what?" she asks, leaning her head closer to Erin's so she can hear her.

"I don't mind being here with you, if that's what's been worrying you."

"What worries me is that you'll pull away from me over things like this. I really like you, Erin — but this is part of my life, at least as long as people keep loving my music."

The host begins to speak, and Erin looks toward the stage, trying to figure out how to let Mia enjoy this moment without turning the night into a bad memory. A performance starts, the crowd erupts, and a shiver of excitement moves through her. She glances at Abigail — just as stiff as she is, but smiling at Taylor, accepting the little displays of affection in public without breaking into hives. The doctor doesn't know where things with Mia are headed, or even whether it has a future, but she likes the present. She's comfortable with her. And she wants the singer to feel the same.

"Hey." Erin leans in again until their shoulders touch and Mia turns to her. "Smile for me. Please."

Mia looks at her, and her smile barely makes it — the corner of her mouth trembles — because she's terrified thatwhat they have will end before it even begins if Erin can't handle the pressure of the spotlight. It's not about this gala. It's about everything. Because if what they have grows and becomes public, they'll both face a brutal amount of media attention at first, and she can't picture Erin surviving having her privacy invaded like that.

The gala moves forward and the tension between them eases a little. The doctor manages to get used to the cameras sweeping the room, and the stage lighting stops bothering her as much. The third award is announced — breakthrough artist — and the host pulls a card from an envelope and reads out Taylor Davey's name. Taylor nearly launches herself out of her seat as the room bursts into applause, but her first reaction is to turn to her girlfriend and kiss her. Mia lets out a sharp whistle right next to Erin, leaving her half-deaf, and Erin turns to look at her — finding her radiant, thrilled for her fellow artist as if she'd won the award herself. Erin is hit with such a fierce urge to kiss her and pull her close that she's almost surprised she doesn't care about the cameras in that moment.

Taylor stands to accept the award, and the gala continues until they reach one of the categories Erin's lover is nominated in. The award goes to someone else, and Mia takes it graciously and applauds with the same enthusiasm as before. Erin can't say the same — she wants to put her arms around her, and she's starting to feel a little unsettled by her own reactions.

"Are you okay?" she asks, leaning toward the singer.

Mia nods, but Erin isn't satisfied and discreetly takes her pulse — fast, too fast.