Page 36 of Wild

"You were going to say with all the women I sleep with?" Mia pounced, because if there was even one crack in this woman, she intended to slip through it.

"I wasn't going to say anything. Start eating, please."

"Yes you were." Mia held both utensils but didn't use them, far more interested in this conversation than in putting anything in her mouth. "You think I shouldn't sleep with strangers? That I'm some slut who takes advantage of her fans? Tell me, Dooley—I really want to hear your take."

"I'm not here to have opinions, Wilder."

"But I'm asking. I want to know. What do you think about how I handle my sex life?"

Erin looked at the piece of steak on her fork and thought she'd need to cut it smaller so it didn't get stuck in her suddenly dry throat.

"What I think is that you're a free woman who can do whatever she wants with her body, whenever she wants."

"Mmm. Interesting." Mia's voice dropped low and slow. "And you? What do you do with yours? Is there a guy somewhere? A woman?"

"My sex life is my own business. Now eat," Erin said, not wanting to touch this subject with Mia—but Mia looked delighted.

"Come on, why can't you tell me? Are you seeing someone?"

Mia already had a pretty good idea of the answer, because Violette had mentioned Erin was single when she'd looked into her—and if she were with someone, she'd probably get calls. Mia spent a lot of hours with Erin during the day and had never once seen her use her phone.

"I'm not seeing anyone. Now eat—"

"Have you ever been with women?" she cut in before Erin could shut the conversation down.

"Why is that relevant to you, Wilder?"

"It matters to me. And I also want to know why I'm not Mia anymore and I'm back to Wilder, or why you're back to being sharp and completely unreachable. What's different between the me right now and the me lying on the floor?"

Erin hadn't expected the questions and she froze. Mia hadn't planned them either, but she couldn't stand the way the doctor was warm with her sometimes and cold the rest of the time.

"Too many questions," Erin said, putting a piece of steak in her mouth.

"You don't have to answer them all at once—you can take them one at a time. But please answer." Mia wasn't letting go.

"I don't see any reason why I should."

"God, Erin." Mia let out a frustrated breath. "Why can't you? What's wrong with them? I know you're not interested in me and I'm not even asking to be your friend, because I don't want that either." Erin exhaled. "But we spend a lot of time together, andI think I have the right to know some things that actually affect me."

"Whether or not I sleep with women is none of your business."

Mia took that in the best she could, because she couldn't argue with it.

"Fine, don't tell me that if you don't want to. But the other thing—yes, because that affects me directly. I'm the one you treat warmly sometimes and with this ridiculous coldness the rest of the time." She pointed at her with her fork, frustrated.

"You're right, it does affect you. And the answer is that I treat you the way I think you need in any given moment."

Mia frowned, confused.

"I don't understand that."

"Your memory can get foggy when you're on the edge of a blackout, but you get very scared, and I need to ground you so you calm down."

Mia's throat tightened and she cursed herself for asking.

"So you're just faking it? It's a role you play?"

Erin ran her tongue over her teeth, uncomfortable.