Page 67 of Bound By Ink

“Easy tiger.” He smiles, “You’re a little banged up, let’s get you some food. I bet you’re starving.” He kisses my forehead before turning and leaving the room. I drop onto the bed as my stomach grumbles. But I smile, my face sore from the movement, but my heart full. The way he looks after me is the same as he always has. He’s always been my person. My go-to. The one I tell everything to. If we do this, will that change? Will it make us stronger? Sighing, my mind reels. I’m broken from my thoughts when he wanders back in with a drink and a sandwich. I stare at him, confusion etched across my face. He places the sandwich on my lap and my drink at my side and leans in, kissing my cheek before joining me on the bed.

“What are you thinking so hard about, Nerd?”

I huff out and stare at my sandwich. “How will this work?”

“Well, you pick it up, put it in your mouth and chew.” He shrugs, and I chuckle, shaking my head.

“You’re a dick,” I mumble, but I actually smile.

“How will what work?”

“This,” I gesture between us. “After everything I’ve done. After…him. How will you ever trust me?”

He faces me. “I don’t want this to sound patronising, but I’ve been young. I’ve been swept away by the wrong person. I’ve almost fallen for someone who wasn’t right, who wasn’t a good person. Someone I felt was what I deserved. I needed you to pick me. To want me. To understand that you deserve better.

I knew you were the one the first time we fucked. The way you looked at me opened something inside my heart, and it all clicked into place. But I’ve had time. I’ve had the opportunity to be with different people. I chose to play thefield. You’ve barely had a chance to see what it’s like to be with other people. I wanted you to want to choose me. But I don’t want you to feel like you’ve settled. I had to be patient. I had to allow you to pick me. Don’t get me wrong, if you decide you’re mine, there’s no room for uncertainty. If you’re in this, you’re all in. I won’t let you keep me dangling. If you’re unsure, say so, and we can go back to how things were. I’ll be there for you. I always will, so the line has been drawn. Which side of it you’re on is up to you. I’ll give you time to process everything. I’ll wait for you, Scott.” He stands, but I reach out and grab his hand. I look into his piercing eyes.

“I choose you. I want you. It’s always been you. I just don’t feel like I deserve you, but I’ve never not wanted you.” I gaze up at him, hoping he can see that I want this, I want him. I’vealwayswanted him. I just never thought he’d want me back. He leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. My eyes close, but he pulls back before I can deepen it.

“Eat.” He grins at me and nudges my leg. “Eat, Nerd.”

I smile and snatch my sandwich off the plate and rip chunks off it, chewing and swallowing as fast as I can. I want to be in his arms again. I want to be next to him. He rests a hand on my back. He absentmindedly strokes it while I eat. Having him so close just makes me feel safe.

Killian

Chapter 37

I rub his back while he eats, his gaze absently flicking to mine. I can’t help but feel content. We’ve always been close, but things have changed. The way I look at him, the way I feel about him. I have changed. It’s like everything has fallen into place. I wasn’t sure we were gonna make it.

I thought he might choose Derren. It’s the first time since I met Jerry that I’ve been unsure of anything. I’m fully aware of how I look. I’ve had more partners than I care to remember. I don’t mind admitting I’ve been a slut. But I don’t regret any of it. Sex has always been great for me, but it has never been anything more than a fuck. And I enjoyed every minute of it, but I’ve never wanted to go back before Scott.

I’ve never returned to a person once the night was over; I’ve never wanted to stay longer than a night. But with him, I don’t want to fucking leave. I don’t want him out of my arms. I want him like I’ve never wanted anyone, and it’s killing me to hold back. Now he’s mine, I want to secure him, fuck him. But after everything, I need to take it slow. To show him this is something more than a quick fuck.

I blow out a breath, and he pushes the plate away and slides against me. His face rubs on my chest, and I wrap my arms around him, sliding under the covers and pulling him closer to me. He squirms, rubbing his hand over my stomach before he pulls away and climbs out of the bed.

“Where you going, Nerd?”

“I’m agitated. Uncomfortable, I just can’t. My skin feels irritated, I need a shower.”

“Hey, you okay?” I sit up in bed, concern etched across my face.

“Yeah, I just… I just need to shower. I need to wash the day off my skin. I won’t be long, okay?”

Scott

Chapter 38

I walk into the bathroom and lock the door behind me, leaning against it as my heart pounds. Taking a breath, I close my eyes. My mind is racing. I want him so badly, but have I fucked this all up? After everything with Derren, how can I be sure that if he has me, if I’m his, that he won’t get bored?

I turn the shower on and strip off, standing in front of the mirror with my cut and bruised face, my ribs black and blue, and my spirit cracked and broken. I thought I knew what my life was gonna look like. Killian was always front and centre, but if this all goes wrong and I lose him, I won’t make it through.

I step under the spray, wincing as it hits my injuries, but I press my hands to the wall and hang my head, letting the water beat down on me. Needing this moment to myself, a moment to weigh everything up. A moment to just feel.

Killian is all I’ve ever wanted; he and his mum are my family. I hope I’m making the right decision. I pick up the soap and lather it, scrubbing every inch of my skin. Cleaning every cell of my being. A factory reset. EverythingI know in this world is about to change for the better. My life is so much more fulfilled with Killian in it like this. I now have to start and allow myself to live it.

I step out of the shower. After wiping a hand down the fogged image of myself in the mirror, I give myself a once-over. My body’s toned, my muscles defined, not in the same way Killian’s are, but I look good. I trace my fingers over the tattoo, wondering if I deserve it. If I deserve him.

I dry off and wrap the towel around my waist. I rub my fingers through my hair, leaving it natural. Squinting, checking out the myriad of bruises in various colours that pepper my skin, hoping they don’t put Killian off. Because right now, I just need him to want me. I don’t need him to be gentle; I just need to feel him.