Page 48 of Bound By Ink

“Why can’t you be with Killian?”

I bark out a laugh. “It’s fucking Killian, Steven. No one will everbewith Killian. He’s a fucking player. He’s a fuckboy, a total slut. He jumps from one bed to another. I’m just a notch on his bedpost. I refuse to waste my life waiting for a perpetually unavailable guy. He’s a man-child and needs to grow the fuck up!”

“That’s not fair to judge him like that, Scott. Killian has been everything to you.” Venom explodes in his tone. “When they were gone, and I wasn’t there, he stepped up and looked after you. He’s been the brother I always wished I could have been. Without him, Scott…” He shakes his head, blowing out an exasperated breath.

“You’re okay with the fact that your best friend fucked your little brother. In this house. You heard us. You banged on the wall. You screamed at us. We laughed and carried on fucking. You don’t have an issue with that. He’s your best fucking friend, Steven.”

A scowl spreads across his face. “That was you two? Fuck…” He shakes his head again. “I don’t have to like it. I know with him you would be safe and looked after, but Derren, that piece of shit beat you up. Take a fucking look in the mirror, Scott. I’ll never be good with that.”

I throw my arms up and storm past him, slamming my bedroom door behind me. I’m beyond frustrated. Killian Caine isnota good fucking guy. Whirling around my room in a storm of anger, I dress. The more they interfere, the more I’m pushed towards Derren. I head downstairs to the landline. “Hey,” I say as the call connects.

“What do you want, Scott?” At least he recognises my voice. I suppose that’s something.

“I thought you were gonna come round last night.”

“Something came up.” His words come out clipped.

“Can we meet up?” I try to keep my tone upbeat.

“Aren’t you at uni?”

“I’ll skip. Can we meet up?”

“I suppose.”

A smile spreads across my face, butterflies flitter around my stomach, and I will make this work. I will show him that I’m present and sorry. “Where shall we go?”

“Come to mine.”

“Yours?” I feel a little giddy. I’ve never been to Derren’s. He’s never even told me where he lives. A frown crosses my face when I realise I don’t know much about him at all. Today, that will change. I’ll make a real effort. I know this is on me; clearly, being so engulfed by Killian, I haven’t bothered to get to know my own boyfriend. That makes me angry that I’ve treated Derren so poorly. “I don’t know where you live.”

“I’ll send you the location. Come over. Pick up some vodka and snacks on the way. We can make a day of it.”

“You still have my phone.”

He sighs like I’m being awkward. “Do you have a pen?”

“Yeah.” He rattles off the address, and I note it down. “I’ll see you soon,” I say, hanging up before he changes his mind.

I want to make it up to him. I know I owe him that for my shitty actions. He lives on the other side of town. It’s not the best area, but I can do this. I smile as I start to get ready. After snatching my rucksack and throwing it overmy shoulder, and grabbing my wallet and keys off my dresser. I stuff them into my pocket.

When I go downstairs, Steven is nowhere to be seen, and I head outside, lifting my collar as the wind whips around me. I really should learn to drive. I zip my coat as high as it will go and walk to the store.

I push inside and shudder as the warm air hits me. I walk up and down each aisle with my basket, contemplating what to get. I snatch popcorn, chocolate, and crisps from the shelves, not even knowing what he likes. When I look into the basket, my stomach churns. I’ve picked all Killian’s favourites. Shaking my head, I exchange a few items, trying to pick snacks that won’t make me think of him. Once I’ve got everything I need, I make my way to the counter, then pause before paying.

“I’ll take a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, too.” I tap my card and stuff them in my bag with the rest of the supplies I bought.

When I get outside the shop, I stand for a minute, close my eyes and just try to relax. My heart is pounding. My mind is all over the place, and the nerves are setting in. Is this a mistake? My feet push forward, though leading me towards Derren’s.

My mouth dries when I get closer, and my hands start to shake after thoughts of what happened at the sandwich shop. I should have run away, but the more Killian and Steven push me, the more I want to lean on Derren. Am I making a mistake? Ignoring the way he was with me and hoping it’s just his hurt talking. I’ll make it up to him, and things will be fine. I know it was all my fault, so now I just need to show him how sorry I am.

When I stand outside his door. I pull out the paper and check the address. I lean over and buzz his flat.

“Yeah,” his voice crackles from the speaker.

“It’s Scott.” There’s a squeak through the speaker as the door clunks. I push it open and step into the hallway. It clangs as it closes behind me, slamming shut, and makes me flinch as it echoes up the stairwell. I let myself have a minute, then I climb the stairs, floor after floor, until I reach his door. I knock loudly and confidently, even though I don’t feel any of those things.

The door creaks open, and I stare at him for a second before he moves to the side and lets me in. The place is a little rundown, and it looks like he’s just cleaned up, snatching everything up and stuffing it in the corner. There’s a sofa, a TV, a small kitchenette, and two doors off to the right. I smile at him when he steps around me.