Page 38 of Bound By Ink

“Look, Killian, let’s not read too much into it, okay? We both know it was a bit of fun. It doesn’t have to be anything else.”

What the fuck?“Scott. Please, can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Killian. It doesn’t have to be weird. I had a great time. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Scott, wait, Scott!” Slamming my hands against the steering wheel, I slump in the seat. What the fuck just happened? Finally, I found something that could be real. I actually get something important. SomeoneI can see myself wanting to be better for, not knowing when the shift happened between us, but he’s it for me. I need him.

I start the car and drive home in a daze, before showering and heading back out. I drive straight to Scott’s. Pacing, I contemplate knocking, standing on the doorstep for far too long before I pull my key out. I slide it into the lock, but it won’t go all the way in. I jiggle it, knock, and ring the bell. No answer.

Why can’t I get in?

Frustration fills me, mixed with something like dread, while I stare in through the window. The living room is in darkness. After making my way to the door again, I push, trying to force my key into the lock. I wiggle it, kicking the bottom of the door in anger and exasperation. Huffing out, I turn, lean against the door, sliding down it until my ass hits the ground, and my head drops back against it.

Unsure how long I sit there, the cold seeps into my bones, but I can’t bear to leave. Unable to bring myself to realise it meant nothing to him.Imeant nothing to him. I blow out a breath.Where do we go from here?How do I navigate this, and can we move forward? Can I make it right? My knees and back creak as I stand from the cold floor and dust myself off. I trudge down the path to my car, turning and staring at the house cloaked in darkness.

My heart sinks as I get in my car. The drive home is silent apart from my heart pounding in my ears and thudding out of my chest. I don’t think. I daren’t.

Scott

Chapter 20

Faking illness for a week, hiding but still going to uni and avoiding the sandwich shop was the best plan I could muster, given the circumstances.

I make sure when I get home, I thoroughly lock the house, guaranteeing Killian can’t just wander in whenever he feels like it. Confined to my room, I’ve ignored every text and call from Killian. But I can’t put Derren off any longer. I need to put my time and effort into him. I need to see whether this relationship is going anywhere. To know it wasn’t all a waste.

Derren messaged me earlier, and I agreed to go out with him. I did ask if it could be just the two of us because I’m not feeling well. I know it’s a lie, just a little one, but I need to see him alone to see what I feel. If I’m going to make this work with Derren, I need to be honest with him about Killian. I can’t be honest if his mates are hanging around.

He pulls up, and I jog out to meet him. I slip into the passenger seat, and he leans over, almost close enough to kiss me, but he stops.

“You’re not contagious, are you?”

“No,” I snap back, confusion etching its way across his face. He assesses me before he leans in a little closer and gives me a brief peck on the cheek. I turn to meet his lips. Contemplation rears its head, trying to figure out if I’ve missed him while I’ve been hiding. I want more from him, but before my lips meet his, he pulls back and starts the car, driving off like he’s an extra in Fast and Furious.

“Where are we going?” He only specified food earlier. What does that even mean?

“Food. I said that earlier.”

“Yeah, but where?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“You’re not gonna end up being one of those high-maintenance boyfriends, are you?” He laughs, and I chuckle uncomfortably, not wanting him to think I’m being awkward. We need time to get to know each other, to get on the same page and learn what we need from the other. I’m willing to put the effort in. I’m just hoping he is, too.

We pull up outside a pub, and I smile as I climb out. The bar is pleasant, and I know they have good food. He walks around the car and meets me, taking my hand in his, leading me inside and straight to the bar. Ordering a beer for himself and a tap water for me. He grins over at me.

“I’m assuming you can’t drink on your antibiotics?”

I give him a tight-lipped smile and nod because I’m clearly caught in my own lie, not wanting to derail this before we’ve even eaten. We’re led to a table in the back, and we take a seat. Derren picks up the menu and starts looking over it. He flicks back and forth before pulling out his phone and scrolling on it.

“Can we talk?” I croak. I feel nervous, and my stomach feels uneasy and churns. The more I look at him, the less I want to tell him about Killian. A lump forms in my throat, and I start to sweat. I tug at the collar of my shirt and lean forward, taking a sip of my water. My mouth opens and closes like a fish, but nothing comes out. When the server pops back up. I scowl at her.

“Are you ready to order?”

Derren nods and asks for the chicken and rib combo with chips and onion rings. She writes it down and turns to me.

“And what can I get you?”