Page 31 of Backward Motion

Sam looked at him curiously. “How long are we talking?”

“Since you wore those knee-high socks with shorts in tenth grade.”

“Oh.” Two smudges of scarlet appeared on Sam’s cheeks. “That is a long time.” The air crackled between them, and Connor realized he was holding his breath. “I wouldn’t want to make you wait that long again,” Sam murmured, and Connor watched, pulse quickening, as Sam bent to kiss him.

Connor opened his mouth, feeling a flood of heat fill his chest. He reached up to wrap a hand around the back of Sam’s neck and drew him close. Sam’s breath hitched, and he deepened the kiss, one arm sliding around Connor’s back to grasp his shirt. Sam’s lips were soft and pliant, and his mouth tasted of toothpaste. Connor wanted to pull the man onto his lap and find out what the rest of him tasted like.

“Will you let me take you out?” he asked when they parted, reluctantly letting his hand drop from Sam’s neck.

“On a date?”

Connor nodded, and Sam stepped back, mulling it over. “I want to say yes, but I’m not sure about all this.” His forehead furrowed, and the excitement drained from his face. “Is it weird, with me working here?”

“If you’re uncomfortable about us working together, I understand. Just say the word.” Connor swallowed, hoping he wouldn’t. When Sam said nothing, Connor continued, emboldened. “It’s not that weird, though. I mean, we went to school together. I don’t really think of myself as your boss.”

“Technically, you are.”

“Right. And technically, you’re older by what, four months? So we’re both taking advantage.”

Sam let out a snort, then his expression turned solemn. “I don’t...” He fiddled with the sleeve of his cardigan. “I don’t have the best track record.”

Connor shrugged. “I don’t care about your track record.” It was true. He didn’t give a shit about Sam’s history—dating or otherwise. Besides, who was he to judge? “I’m grown up enough to handle myself, and I really like spending time with you. So I guess all I want is to spend some time with you if you’re open to that. We don’t have to call it anything if you don’t want to.”

Sam shoved his hands into his pockets. “You don’t understand. I... struggle more than most people. I’m not sure I’m... you know, enough.”

Connor masked the jolt of concern. He saw some things he’d noticed in a new light—Sam’s self-deprecation, the lack of confidence. “You’re plenty. You’re more than enough. You’re just the right amount.”

“And you’re just saying that to get me to go out with you,” Sam shot back.

“That would be a bonus,” Connor said with a laugh. “Look, the only person you need to be enough for is yourself.”

“There’s the problem,” Sam muttered.

They fell silent as if at an impasse.

“We don’t need to figure it out right now,” Connor offered, not wanting to give up yet acknowledging Sam’s reluctance. The last thing he wanted was to push. “Fancy a walk to Jenny’s? I could use some coffee.”

Sam gave him a flash of that disarming smile, sweet and charming all at once. “Coffee, I can do.”

Sam held out the container of carrots to Matty, but he batted it away. Then Matty threw his head back and began to shriek. While Sam tried to quell a rising panic, Brian, beside him on the picnic blanket, remained unfazed.

“Four-year-old logic. He doesn’t like carrots today,” Brian announced. “Maybe he’ll like them tomorrow—it’s anyone’s guess.” He had Ellie propped up on his lap and was feeding her spoonfuls of green mush from a pouch.

It was Saturday, and they were at the park around the corner from Brian’s house. The weather had proven decent enough to justify venturing outside for the kids’ afternoon snack. Sure enough, several seconds later, Matty abandoned his tantrum and began following a duck as it waddled toward a nearby tree.

“Well, that’s a relief,” Sam said.

“Yeah, they’re surprisingly resilient. I spent the first couple of months after Matty was born convinced I’d scarred him for life. I obsessed over everything. Did I pick him up fast enough when he cried? Will he have attachment issues from being bottle fed? In the end, I figured it’s such a crapshoot you can’t worry about that shit. I know I’ll scar him somehow. Whether it’s the carrots or walking in on him with his girlfriend, only time will tell.”

“You’ve been home full-time since Matty was born?”

Brian swiped at Ellie’s face with a wet wipe. “Yup. I was between jobs when Jules got pregnant, and then we kind of got used to me taking care of the baby once she went back to work, so I stayed on.”

“How’s that working out?”

Brian placed Ellie down on her back on the picnic blanket. “It’s not the hardest thing I’ve done, but it’s close. It’s also hilarious and crazy fun sometimes. And fuck, things move fast. I feel lucky to get the time with them. My dad was super hands-off. Never had much of a relationship with the man. So I appreciate the chance for a do-over.”

Sam watched Ellie kick her little legs like a swimmer on dry land. “That’s amazing, Brian.”