Page 98 of Bound By Blood and Lies

“I love you too,” I breathe back.

He lingers as his thumb drags lightly along my jaw like he’s committing me to memory, before he finally pulls away. The door closes behind him with a bang, and something in my chest shifts with it, like a piece of me has just walked out into the world with him. The kitchen noise fills the space he leaves behind as voices pick straight back up and I exhale slowly, forcing myself back into the room.

“I’m just saying, if you expect me to sit on something with a bow on it, I’m walking straight back out?—”

Fiona’s phone buzzes on the counter.

My eyes catch it before she even moves, and my stomach drops at the name lighting up the screen. I look up at her at the exact same time she looks at me. There’s no reaction on her face, not even a flicker, whilst I try to keep mine just as still. I drag my hands down my trousers, wiping away the sudden dampness, and try to swallow the lump in my throat.

Riggs keeps talking behind us, completely oblivious. “—and don’t even get me started on centrepieces because if there’s feathers involved…”

Fiona picks up her phone slowly; her gaze still locked on mine for a fraction longer before she looks down at the screen. I can hear my pulse in my ears. The air shifts, pressing in from every side until it feels harder to breathe. Heat creeps up my neck as a wave of nausea rolls through me so suddenly I have to steady myself against the counter. My fingers curl into the edge of it as I try to keep my face neutral, to keep everything contained, but my body isn’t listening.

It knows.

Fiona’s thumb moves across the screen before she sets the phone back down like it’s nothing.

“I just need to grab something from upstairs,” she says whilst turning away from the counter.

Riggs doesn’t even look up. “If it’s more beige samples, don’t bother.”

I force a small breath through my nose before pushing myself upright as I peel my fingers from the edge of the island.

“I’ll be two minutes,” I add with a steady voice.

“Take your time,” Riggs mutters, still flicking through swatches. “I’m redesigning this whole thing without you anyway.”

Neither of us respond.

I start walking out of the kitchen, the noise of Riggs’ voice fading behind me as we step into the hallway. I watch Fionamove into the lounge and swallow the lump in my throat before following. She crosses quickly to the fireplace and her eyes sweep the room in a sharp, practised check. I reach back and shut the door behind us, the soft click sounding far too loud to my own ears. I draw in a steady breath as I study her, then close the distance between us, taking her shaking hands into mine. My fingers tighten around hers. She gives me a weak smile before inhaling and lifting her chin as she pulls herself back together right in front of me. Her fingers squeeze mine once, then she steps back before flicking her gaze toward the door.

“It’s time,” she whispers.

My eyes widen, “When?” I whisper back.

“Six PM.”

I nod, but another wave of nausea hits me so fast I drop into the nearest chair. Fiona sits too, perching on the edge with that same perfect posture, like she hasn’t just said something that changes everything. We’ve been planning this for weeks… but now it’s here, it feels too big and too real. Two minutes ago, I was standing in the kitchen kissing the man I love, smiling at him like everything was normal whilst lying straight to his face. And if this goes wrong… I don’t know how he’ll ever forgive me for it. Through the front window, the sky is clear and bright. It’s the kind of day people sit outside and feel like everything is simple and good with the world.

To me, it just feels wrong.

Everything about this feels wrong.

I turn to look at her as my thoughts run wild, every worst-case scenario crashing into the next.

“What about Roman?” I ask, quieter than I intend, like saying his name any louder might somehow bring him back through the door.

“I will tell him I’m taking you out for dinner,” she replies calmly.

I drag my hand through my hair as I stare at the floor, trying to steady the way everything inside me feels like it’s slipping out of place. He kissed me ten minutes ago. Held me like I was his whole world. Told me he loved me like it was the only truth that mattered. And I’m about to walk out of this house and lie straight to his faceagain. It won’t stop me, no matter how guilty I feel. I have to do it. For him, for Fiona, for my baby.

I lift my head, meeting Fiona’s eyes again. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Fiona gives a small nod before pulling herself back together and I force myself to follow. We don’t say anything else as we leave the room, slipping back into the normal noise of the house. Riggs starts talking when we pass him, completely lost in his own world, and I cling to the normality of it.

The day passes in a blur.

By the time I reach the bedroom, my fingers are fumbling as I push the door open and step inside. Everything looks the same. The bed, the clothes draped over the chair, his jacket thrown carelessly where he left it earlier. I start stripping off my clothes before turning on my playlist and‘How Do I Say Goodbye by Dean Lewis’ starts to play as I step into the shower. The water hits my skin and I stare blankly at the tiles before moving my hands automatically over my wet body. My unfamiliar and forever-changing reflection shifts in the glass as I swallow the burn in my chest and I hover over my bump.