Page 92 of Bound By Blood and Lies

FAE

“Ididn’t think you were going to come,” I whisper, leaning into Fiona’s hug.

She presses a quick kiss to my cheek before pulling back as she looks toward Roman. Guilt twists in my stomach and I force it down again.

I feel on edge.

Sitting through that four-four split nearly broke me. I had already started preparing myself for it to fall apart and for everything we had set in motion to collapse before it even had a chance to work. When she walked through that door though, I couldn’t hold it in. The relief of her arrival hit me hard. Thankfully, when the room saw my shaking hands, they thought it was fear, which ironically worked in our favour.

“I told you I would,” Fiona replies quietly.

I nod faintly, stepping back into place beside her. From the outside, it looks like a normal greeting. Nothing more. But beneath it, it’s anything but. Today was the start of our plan and there’s no stopping it now. I exhale slowly, as relief washes through me at the thought that we’re nearly finished.

My eyes flick to Roman. He’s watching us and his whole body is rigid with tension. There’s that same unsettled look he’scarried for weeks now. It’s why I’m doing this in the first place. Goose pimples rise over my skin at the thought of how angry he would be with us if he knew.

He can’t know.

If he does, he’ll take it on himself. He’ll carry every part of it because he believes that’s what he’s meant to do. He’ll control it, commandeer it, and then it will destroy something inside of him that he won’t be able to bring back. Roman thinks he’s ready for this, but the truth is he isn’t. I see the reality of what this has done to him when he thinks no one is watching and I refuse to let my life be the reason he breaks for good. Roman might want to end this cycle we’ve found ourselves in, but that honour is mine and mine alone.

“Did you see Harding?” I whisper, squeezing her arm as she looks over and smiles at me.

“You owe me £100,” she raises her eyebrows and I bark out a laugh.

“I feel like you tricked me, Fi,” I roll my eyes and she chuckles.

“Who, me?” She fakes a gasp. “I would do no such thing, young lady.”

“Yeah, yeah. He was always so put together when he was around my dad. How was I to know he would actually have a tantrum?”

“Ah, sweet girl, this is a good life lesson.” She stops and turns to me, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear. “All men who overestimate their power will have a tantrum when they are outmanoeuvred by a stronger female.”

“And you’re the strongest female I know,” I grin at her as we turn back toward the cars.

“No, I’m not,” she smiles back. “You are.”

I roll my eyes.

She’s been saying that a lot recently. I argued it at first, but you don’t win against Fiona, so now I just let her believe it. The truth is I’m not strong. I’m ignorant. Not in the world-view sense, but in the way I choose what to see. I know exactly what we’ve been through. I’ve seen what it’s done to Robyn, how it’s hollowed her out because she feels all of it, all the time. Me? I take it, shut it away, and carry on. I put it in a box and keep moving.

Like I said…Ignorant.

Maybe that makes me the weakest of them all.

“I can’t believe it worked,” I whisper.

“I can,” Fiona says, squeezing my arm as we reach the car.

I turn slightly and catch sight of Roman still a little way back, so I take the opportunity, shifting closer to Fiona.

“Have you heard from him?” I ask.

“No,” she replies, shaking her head. “Not yet. But the seed has been planted and, as soon as I do, I’ll let you know and we can move in.”

I nod before pulling her into a hug. Her hugs are always so warm and steady. It’s the kind of comfort that makes everything feel quieter. I smile against her shoulder.

“I’m taking Robyn and Felix home,” she murmurs near my ear. “She wants to come with me.”

Robyn goes to Fiona so easily now. She settles with her in a way she doesn’t with anyone else. Even me. The thought stings more than it should, but I push it down just as fast. This isn’t about me. It never has been. Robyn needs her. She needs that steadiness and understanding that I can’t always give, and I would never take that away from either of them.