Page 80 of Bound By Blood and Lies

“Yes,” he looks at me. “Fae wanted it. It doesn’t change anything for me.”

Her eyes flick to me. I press my lips together, nodding faintly, but my pulse steadily climbs faster. Her expression softens as she looks between us, like she understands more than we’ve said.

“Well,” she says gently, “what a very lucky baby… Would you like the results now or after the scan?”

I turn to Roman and he’s already watching me with an unwavering gaze. There’s no hesitation in him, no flicker of doubt, just that same quiet certainty he always has when it comes to me.

It should comfort me.

It usually does.

But all I can think about is what comes next. The moment it stops being something abstract and becomes real. And the possibility that the first time I see my baby properly, the first time I hear it, it will be tied to him. To Fisher. To everything he took from me. I look at Roman, hold onto the steadiness in his eyes, and try to breathe through the feeling clawing its way up my throat.

“Let’s do the scan,” I whisper.

“Okay mum, I will need you to empty your bladder and then undress from the waist down. We are going to do an internal exam today to see your baby more clearly.”

The word internal lances through my chest. The idea of another doctor touching me there makes my spine lock, pulling my muscles tight as everything in me stiffens. It feels like something heavy drops onto my chest, pressing down so hard that my breathing turns shallow. My eyes flick to the door and then back again. The walls feel closer than they did a second ago. Too white. Too clean. Too controlled. My throat works as Itry to swallow, but it’s dry, like my body is already bracing for something it doesn’t want to go through again.

“Does she have to?” Roman asks in a tight voice.

“It helps at this stage,” the doctor explains calmly. “We may not be able to see the baby otherwise.”

She softens slightly as she looks at me.

“Fae… it’s okay if you can’t. We can go at your pace.”

Her saying my name pulls me back to focus on her properly. I draw in a slow breath and force my shoulders down. If this is what it takes to make sure the baby is okay, then I’ll do it.

“I’ll do it.”

She offers me a smile as Roman helps me down. I move into the adjoining bathroom, taking a moment before coming back and climbing onto the bed. The paper rustles beneath me as I settle. The doctor covers my lower half before positioning my legs and feet. Roman stays near my shoulder, his hand gripping mine, as a shiver runs through me at the first brush of cold gloves against my vagina.

“I’m inserting the probe now. It may feel cold.”

I jolt despite the warning. She murmurs a quiet apology and I shake my head, dragging in a deeper breath, trying to push down the wave of instinctive revulsion rising. Roman’s other hand comes to my shoulder, moving slowly and keeping me anchored as the doctor adjusts the machine.

The probe feels invasive, but not in the way Fisher did. The difference lands and my muscles loosen around it as the tension eases just enough that I can breathe again. I slowly open my eyes as the screen flickers to life. Grey and black shapes form, shifting into something I don’t understand.

“There,” she says gently. “That’s your baby.”

My breath catches, and I feel Roman go still beside me. Everything around me seems to fade, the walls, the noise, the weight of where we are, until all that’s left is the screen and thetiny shape flickering against it. I hadn’t expected it to hit me like this. It’s so small it almost doesn’t make sense, curled in on itself like a little peanut inside its casing. The doctor presses something on the machine and the sound changes, filling the space with a rapid, rhythmic thrum.

They’re so… alive.

I don’t realise I’m crying until Roman’s hand comes up, his thumb brushing gently along my cheek and catching the tears as they fall. The touch is so careful, like he’s handling something fragile, and it only makes the tightness in my chest ache more.

“Our little peanut,” he murmurs warmly against my ear as he leans down. A small laugh slips out of me.

“I just thought the same thing,” I manage to croak out as I tilt my head up to look at him. His eyes are glassy, as his own emotion sits openly in them in a way I’ve never seen before, and there’s so much love there it steals the remaining air from my lungs.

“You’re roughly eight weeks,” the doctor says gently. “I’d like to see you again in four weeks for your dating scan. Let’s get you cleaned up and I’ll print these off for you.”

The probe is removed carefully and I shift, moving off the bed on slightly unsteady legs before heading into the bathroom to clean up. By the time I step back into the room, the doctor is seated again, facing Roman. He reaches for me the moment I’m close enough, pulling me onto his lap. I settle against him as the doctor’s gaze moves between us.

“Are you ready?” she asks in a careful voice.

I nod. Roman’s arm tightens around me as she draws in a breath, and I feel myself pulled closer into him. The doctor looks at Roman before speaking. Her eyes soften as she licks her lips and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.