Page 65 of Bound By Blood and Lies

“My dad?” I say hoarsely. “My dad is the boss?”

No one answers. I look around the room hoping someone might tell me this is some kind of sick joke. But they aren’t laughing. Felix doesn’t even seem to be breathing as Atlas stares at the floor. Victor looks as though he has just been punched in the stomach and Riggs’ jaw is locked so tightly I can see the muscle twitching beneath the skin from over here.

And my mum… My mum is steadily watching me because she already knew this moment was coming.

“No,” I say again, louder this time. “No, that doesn’t make sense. He helped us,” I push out. “He was the one giving us information. He was the one pushing us toward Ackworth. He?—”

My voice cuts off. The sentence finishes itself inside my head. He was the one pushing us toward Ackworth. My hands slide off Fae as I stand abruptly, the chair scraping harshly against the floor through the silence of the room.

“Roman—” Fae starts softly.

“No,” I snap, dragging a hand down my face as I pace two steps away before stopping again. “This doesn’t make sense,” I repeat, but the words sound weaker even to me.

Somewhere deep down I can already feel the truth settling in. The man who raised me, who taught me how to fight, how to hunt, how to kill, is afucking monster.

“Do you know what he does to little girls?” I snap as the words tear out of me before I can stop them and I swing my fury toward Mum.

It isn’t fair.

I know it isn’t.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I know she’s not the one who did this, but the disgust clawing its way through my chest needs somewhere to go and right now it lands on the only person standing in front of me. My skin suddenly feels too tight, like I’m trapped inside it as I step towards her.

“DO YOU?” I roar when she doesn’t answer.

My shout echoes off the walls and the room goes dead still. My clothes feel suffocating against my skin, the fabric clinging to me as if it is personally trying to kill me. I drag a shaky hand to my face and press my fingers hard against my eyes as if I can force the images in my head to disappear. My mum’s eyes fill with tears as she slowly shakes her head, but instead of looking at me she glances past my shoulder.

I spin around. Fae is standing there. Her bright green eyes are locked on mine, soft and unbearable and full of that same love she’s always looked at me with. The sight of it makes me feel nauseous.

I can’t take it.

I don’t deserve it.

I turn away from her immediately, cracking my neck to try and release the tension building inside.

“I’m killing him,” I spit as I look around the room before landing back on my mum. “Do you fucking understand me, Mum? He’s dead.”

Her bottom lip trembles and the instinct to comfort her flickers through me, but it dies just as quickly as it appeared.

“It’s him or me,” I continue, as my voice hardens. “You choose.”

“Ro… that’s not fair,” Fae’s soft voice says from behind me.

I spin around so quickly the movement makes the room sway.

“What?” I whisper, half in shock and half in disbelief.

“He kidnapped you. He let Fisher rape you.” The word tastes like acid in my mouth as my chest rises and falls harder. “And, and… and it’s not just you, Fae. It’s Robyn and Hazel and Emily… she’s thirteen, Fae! THIRTEEN!”

“Ro, listen to me…”

“Who else didn’t we save? Who else?” I choke. “Who else’s blood is on my hands?” I lift both hands in front of my face, and they shake as the vision of innocent children’s blood drips all over them.

Fae steps toward me.

I recoil before I can stop myself.

“How can you even look at me right now?” I spit out with bitterness.