Page 15 of Found Through Fire

I can be there in 30

Red

Already in my office. Come when you’re ready

I put my phone in my back pocket and gather up the things that serve as proof that no one could argue with. I don’t want Dad or Red to have a chance to try to twist her story. I couldn’t find anything with Willow’s contact information. I had no idea about my mom, or that she was Willow’s mom, too.

Even if I hated the version of my mom that had been fed to me over the years, I still insulted the real version of her mom that she knew and lost, and I need to apologize for that.

I’m not sure if we’ll be an instant family. I haven’t had the best experiences with “family.” The best one that I have is currently being challenged with everything that I learn about the past, aboutmypast!

I close my door and jiggle the handle, making sure it’s locked. The last thing I need is for a club girl to walk in to “clean” it and mess everything up. For some reason, having anyone from our world touch anything of my mom’s seems like an insult to her.

I head downstairs, and when I reach Red’s office, I knock twice.

“Yeah.” Red’s voice is casual from the other side of the door. I open it and walk in. It looks like I’m the first one here, so I take a seat.

“What’s up?” he asks, eyeing the things I have in my hands.

I shake my head. “I’ll wait for Griz and Flame to get here so I only have to go through this once,” I reply while looking at the wall behind him.

I’m barely able to speak to him and contain the rage that has been simmering for the last few hours. He is still my President, and I can’t just disrespect him by saying all of the fucked-up shit that I want to. He takes the hint and goes back to looking at his computer while we sit in a tense silence.

I take this chance to calm myself down. I look around the office that I know like the back of my hand after all the time that Flame and I spent in here hanging out with Red growing up. This was one of those places that Red didn’t let his wife touch. It has the old, tacky-looking styles of the Presidents before him that didn’t match him at all. I think he kept it as a tribute to the history of the club. The walls are covered in wood paneling, and the carpet is original and has stains that have accumulated through the decades, no matter how many steam cleanings it got. The rest of the office is spotless. This is the one space closed off to the other club members, so it stays that way.

Pictures of the club throughout the years are scattered on the walls. The main focus of this office is respect and loyalty to the Brotherhood. I stifle a scoff; it makes me want to laugh or punch every single picture on that wall after everything I learned today.

The door opens, and Flame walks in, giving his normal greeting of a head nod to me and Red before taking the empty chair next to me. “What’s up?” he asks when he sits down, turning to look at me.

“Smoke wants to wait for Griz to get here, too, so we’re waiting,” Red replies.

I’m sure Flame can hear the annoyance in his voice, too, but we both stay silent and continue to wait for Griz. I have always been able to speak freely with Red, and the waiting is starting to piss him off.

Good. He should share in my anger since we’re a “Brotherhood.”

The door opens again, and my dad finally walks in. He makes his way over to the chair in the corner that sits on the same side of the desk as Red.

“Okay, now what’s up?” Flame asks again.

I finally make eye contact with Red, since he is the one I feel most betrayed by. My dad’s always been a shit father; I’m not surprised he had this in him. Red acted like he thought of me as his other son. I know I never had a prime example, but I thought fathers didn’t lie to their kids for their entire lives.

Taking a deep breath, I try my damnedest to not let the disdain in my voice come through. I need to be as direct as I can be. “I got a call last week from a law office. They said my mom was sending some paperwork for me. They asked if I could meet somewhere and pick it up,” I say as I take turns making eye contact with the three of them, then turn back to Red. He keeps his straight face, and that’s what I need to get through this without saying some shit that I can never take back.

“I decided to go and see what she could want after all this time.” I continue to replay the entire encounter with Willow, leaving out that she is my sister. I’ll leave that fun fact for the letter. I want them to hear Mom’s story in her own words, not mine.

“Lilly’s dead,” Griz says in a resigned voice.

I don’t say anything, knowing he’s saying it to himself. It’s weird, but some emotion is coming through his eyes, which Ican’t remember seeing before. He has always been a cold and distant asshole, even violent when he drank too much, but it’s too late for him to feel bad, in my opinion. Red still isn’t showing anything, and Flame’s sitting quietly, waiting for me to continue.

“I brought back the things that she left me and went through everything. I think you should read this to them,” I say, handing the letter to Red while giving him a challenging look.

He pauses for a second and takes the envelope. He carefully opens it, thankfully. I know I didn’t get a chance to know my mom, but I want to keep as much of her intact as I can. I still have to read the journals. But from what I’ve read so far, she was a person worth saving, so I will do what I can to preserve the little bit of memory of her that she’s given me.

Red reads the letter out loud, and I watch as my dad’s shoulders cave in on themselves with every word. He isn’t making eye contact with anyone, just staring at the top of the desk in front of him. As Red finishes, he carefully re-folds the letter, slides it in the envelope, and gently passes it back to me.

I just sit there looking between the VP and President of our club, waiting for them to say something and acknowledge how their past actions ruined my family and the childhood that I could’ve had.

Flame’s the only one to speak. “I’m sorry, man. That’s rough.”