Page 76 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

Roseland’s words come back, and the thought of him is a lance of pain that mars this moment.

Don’t remember.

I lean down. His eyes widen, but he doesn’t move. At the last moment, I turn my head just a little bit, and the kiss lands on the corner of his lips. It’s just a press of my lips to his. It should be nothing.

Instead, it sends my heart galloping and has me springing back and exploding out of the tent, putting as much space between us as I can.

“Merle?”

I lift a hand and wave at Sage but keep going. Once I’m deep in the bushes, I pull down my pants and take care of business.

Sage hands me a wipe when I get back. I wash my hands quickly and take the sandwich he hands me.

I’m not sure where he got bread, but whoever had it in their pack was a hero. I devour it like I’m starving, not sure why I’m so hungry.

“Are you ready to jump on the river today?”

I pause, looking up at Blaze, who announces that and keeps walking, his smile too eerily calm. The sandwich feels like a knot in my stomach.River?

“Ignore him. It’s going to be fine. We’ve done this plenty of times,” Sage says. “He’s just hoping that you’ll think he’s brilliant and go play with him.”

I chew thoughtfully and watch them interact.

Rolly and Blaze tease each other as they put down the tent. Pix and King keep touching each other.

Is this a future? Is this my future? Do I fit here?

“What are you thinking about?” Sage asks.

I turn to him and raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, I know you can’t talk, but you communicate very well, regardless.”

He frowns, glancing at my throat.

“No scars. No damage. Could you speak before?”

I stare at him, my skin crawling, but I want to answer him. I want to tell him the truth. But I have no idea how to explain how I got here.

“So, this is trauma induced. Okay. You don’t need to speak until you are ready, Merle. If you never do again, you will still be perfect.”

I stare at him because how can he mean that.

He runs a hand over my head, the gesture so relaxed and warm that it takes me by surprise. When did I stop flinching? When did I start leaning into them?

I blow out my cheeks and help clean up the camp. Interestingly, Pix and Rolly go to extreme levels of camouflaging our tracks, hiding every sign of us being here.

The river takes us two hours to get to, and I watch in absolute amazement as these alphas build a raft. It’s insane and made out of sticks and logs and vines that hold it together. It’s got no sides.

“Come on, dead girl, let’s go swimming.”

I shake my head and step back.

“Aww, don’t be like that. Where’s your sense of adventure?” Rolly giggles.

I spread my arms wide and stamp a foot.

He laughs harder.