Page 73 of Break Me Apart
Caiden says my name. Just that. Nothing else.
I get my head up enough to see them forcing him against the wall. There are red marks already blooming over his skin where hands have gripped too hard. He’s breathing hard through his nose, and his eyes are bright with fury. One of the men has his fingers dug into the side of Caiden’s neck, and something inside me turns so violently I think I might black out from it.
“You want someone, you take me,” I say, every word shaking with anger.
Nobody listens.
They drag us into the corridor half-dressed and bleeding, my bare feet slipping on cold concrete and my shoulders wrenching every time I try to pull free. Doors are open all along the block now, and men are staring. Some of themare curious, some are pretending not to be, and the others look pleased in that mean, hungry way cowards always do when they think somebody else has finally fallen lower than they have.
I keep trying to get to him.
Every time I twist toward Caiden, they haul me back. Every time I shout at them to leave him alone, a hand shoves my head forward, or a forearm drives into my throat.
None of it matters, but I don’t stop. “Look at me,” I snap at the man who drags Caiden by the arm. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”
The man laughs in my face. We’re dragged down the stairs, out through the main doors, and the cold hits me like a blade. The yard is white with old snow and floodlights that bleach everything raw. Vehicles stand lined along the far side of the compound. Men are gathering. I don’t know where they all came from, but it feels like the whole base has spilt out to watch.
No one says what this is. No one needs to.
I start fighting again, harder. A grip on my arm nearly tears the socket when I throw my weight the wrong way, trying to wrench free. I get one hand loose and drive my elbow back, connecting with someone’s nose. The man grunts, falling back, while another catches me from the side. Caiden is hauled beside me, and I lunge toward him. I only get close enough to brush his arm with my fingers before they rip us apart again.
“Don’t touch him,” I say again, lower now, more dangerous. “I’m telling you for the last time.” One of the officers steps in front of me. I know his face and hate him at once. He looks at me like I’m something he stepped in.
Then he looks at Caiden with open contempt.
That does it. I throw myself at him. But I don’t get far. Three men hit me at once and drive me into the frozen ground so hard the impact rattles my teeth. Snow pushes into my mouth, tasting filthy and bitter. A knee crushes between my shoulder blades, then forces my hands into cuffs behind me.
I can hear Caiden shouting now. English first, then my name, then nothing is clear because blood is rushing in my ears.
When they haul me upright again, I see they’ve done the same to him. He’s on his knees beside me.
For a second, the whole yard goes silent, but it all feels far away. My entire focus zones in on Caiden, looking at the floor in the snow with his hands cuffed behind him and his mouth set in that hard line he gets when pain means nothing and rage means everything.
I stop fighting then.
My breathing turns shallow, and I’m pretty sure my shoulder is dislocated. Blood runs in warm streams from my nose over my mouth and chin, but I keep my eyes on him.
He lifts his head and looks over at me. There’s something terrible in that look. It’s not fear or regret. It’s recognition.
This is happening, there’s no stopping it.
I try to speak, but my throat closes around the words. After a minute, I force them out anyway. “Don’t look at them,” I tell him. “Look at me.”
I hold his gaze and keep mine steady through effort that feels like it is splitting me apart from the inside. He has snow melting in his hair, blood dripping from his mouth, and someone has even torn the dog tags from his neck. I want to kill everyone here. I want to tear the whole yard open with my bare hands. Instead, I say the only thing I can. “It’s alright, detka.”
It’s a pathetic lie. We both know it, but his eyes stay on mine.
The officer says something, but I’m not focusing on him. I see men move behind us out of my peripheral vision. Then I hear the metal clicks.
“No,” I say, and every bit of control I had left is gone. I wrench against the cuffs holding me, savage enough to tear muscle, skin, whatever gives first. “No. Not him. You take me. You hear me? Not him,” I shout at the officer in front of me.
Someone strikes me across the back of the head, and the yard jolts sideways as I hit the floor. But I don’t feel it. My focus is all on Caiden.
He doesn’t look away.
There’s a strange calm to his face now, and that frightens me more than anything else has. I shake my head at him as he exhales through his nose, slowly. “I love you, Arseny.”
The rifles lift and every part of me goes cold. I scream his name before they fire, loud enough to rip my throat open. The shots crack across the yard, and the sound is so huge it seems to split reality in two.
