Page 37 of Better than Yesterday
“We’re looking at flights,” she continued breezily. “We want to come see you before you wrap up there. Maybe be there to celebrate the good news when it comes?”
“That… that would be great,” I said, gripping the edge of the granite counter. “Just let me know when so I can carve out some free time.”
“Oh, it won’t be a long visit. And we’d never get in the way of your research. We just miss you, honey.”
“I miss you guys too.” And I did. The three of us were a unit. The problem was I was starting to see another person in that unit too.
We hung up a minute later, and I stared at my reflection in the fogged mirror. Mom sounded so happy. So certain of the straight line from where I was to the Great Barrier Reef. But looking at myself, all I saw was a fracture running right down the center of me. One half was the daughter they were so proud of, the one on the cusp of everything she was supposed to want. The other half was the woman who had spent the morning in a hidden grotto, realizing that ambition was a cold substitute for home.
I couldn’t stay in this townhouse a second longer. The silence was suddenly suffocating. I needed to talk to Braden. Not to make declarations, but to admit that I was being pulled apart.
Dressed in simple jeans and a soft green T-shirt, I grabbed my keys. It was almost six. He’d be at Tidal Hops.
I pushedthrough the door before I could lose my nerve. The brewpub was bustling. A couple sat at a corner table sharing a flight of beers. Braden stood behind the bar, his back to me as he restocked glasses. Dressed in a Tidal Hops polo shirt and cargo shorts, his hair was neat, and his broad shoulders carried a case of pint glasses with ease. He looked so good it caused a physical ache inside me.
He turned, his expression shifting from professionalcourtesy to genuine pleasure. “Tessa. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. I just…” I crossed to the bar, suddenly uncertain. “Do you have a minute?”
His gaze sharpened. “Maria, can you cover the bar?” he called over his shoulder, then came around to my side. “Let’s go to my office.”
I followed him down a short hallway to a small, tidy office. He closed the door, and the sudden quiet made my pulse spike.
“What’s going on?” he asked, leaning against his desk. “You look like you’re about to tell me something I won’t like.”
“No, it’s not bad. It’s just…” I struggled for the right words. “Today. The dive. It… woke me up.”
He cocked his head. “How so?”
“I realized that in California, I spend eighty percent of my time writing grant proposals and navigating departmental politics. My work is theoretical. But here? I’m protecting an ecosystem for generations. I’m building something real.”
He nodded slowly, his expression intent. “And that scares you.”
“It scares the shit out of me,” I admitted. “Because the career path I’ve been on—the prestigious position, the accolades, the Great Barrier Reef—is the definition of success that has framed my whole life. But I’m starting to question if it’s actuallymydefinition.”
Braden’s expression shifted, a flicker of cautious hope in his eyes. He pushed off the desk and took a step closer. “What are you saying, Tessa?”
“I’m saying I don’t know anymore.” My voice cracked on the last word and I cleared my throat. “I thought I hada clear trajectory. But being here, doing this work, being with you… I’m questioning it all.”
“Come here.”
He opened his arms, and I stepped into them without hesitation. His embrace was solid and grounding. I pressed my face to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
“It’s okay not to have all the answers,” he said into my hair. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”
“But I’ve always had answers. I’ve always known what was next.”
“Maybe that’s the problem.” His arms tightened. “Maybe you’ve been so focused on the next step that you forgot to ask if you even liked the direction you were walking.”
The words hit deep. I pulled back slightly to look at him. “You sound like you know exactly what this feels like.”
“I do.” His smile was wry. “I’m the guy who turned away from a solid future as part of the family resort structure to brew beer in a garage. People told me I was throwing away a secure future. I chose the risk because I wanted to build a life, not just a resume.”
The distinction struck me hard. A life, not just a resume.
“The Great Barrier Reef opportunity is real,” I said, needing to be honest. “Dr. Albright basically told my dad my application was at the top of the pile. I can’t just ignore it.”
Disappointment flashed across his face, but he nodded. “I know.”
