Page 84 of Taming I Do
“Oh, honey, your mama was a few years behind me. But I remember her well.”
“Were you friends?” I wondered how Suzy would have known my mother. They didn’t seem like they were the type that would have much in common. As much as I enjoyed Suzy’s unconventional ways, Stella didn’t have the same attitude when it came to expanding her social circle.
“We weren’t really friends. Did Estelle, I mean, Stella, say anything about it?”
“No. There’s something she’s not telling me, and I have no idea what it is.” Stella had never provided any details about her childhood days. All she’d said was her parents didn’t support her decision to marry my father, so they lost touch. Stella had shutthem out of her life and never looked back. Not even when she and my dad divorced.
I had always wanted to learn more about my family, more about my past, but the memories were too painful for my mother to talk about, so I’d left it alone.
“I think it’s best you ask your mama about it. Whatever it is she’s not willing to talk about, it’s her story to share.” Suzy nodded, more to herself than anything else. “Now, we’ve got a party to get to. Are you going to cut a rug with my nephew? He sure looks handsome when he gets all gussied up, doesn’t he?”
I wanted to press the issue but looked up in time to see Jasper making his way toward us, Abby by his side. “He sure does.”
“Take care, hon.” Suzy stood and wrapped me in a hug, the faint scent of formaldehyde lingering as she released her grip.
“Did you hear my song, Delilah?” Abby’s excitement was contagious. “I get to sing another one at the reception. I can’t wait to taste the cake. Jojo made it and promised me she’d save me a piece with extra frosting.”
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” I linked my arm with Abby’s, a safer choice than subjecting myself to Jasper’s charms, and we made our way toward the huge white tents.
Giant, colorful butterflies hung from the ceiling on clear filament. It made it look like butterflies danced all around us. Soft lights had been strung around the edges, making the inside of the tent glow. I’d never seen anything like it.
“I see Jojo over there.” Abby released my arm. “I’m going to go say hi and make sure she remembers about the cake.”
I laughed as Abby sprinted across the dance floor, headed toward the cake table on the other side. “Where does she get her energy?”
“I bet you were like that when you were her age.” Jasper said.
“No.” I tried to remember what I’d been like at twelve years old. I’d won several titles by then. Stella had decided that my pageant career took top priority over settling down somewhere, and we’d moved all over the state of Texas and even spent time in Louisiana and Georgia in Stella’s quest for me to win one of the bigger titles.
“Are you sure about that? You strike me as someone who probably loved having a chance to dress up and go to parties.”
“Back then I probably would have preferred to stay home, learn how to ride a horse, and hang out with my friends. The pageants and parties were fun sometimes, but I missed out on a lot by always being on the move.”
“I guess I assumed that’s what you wanted.”
“Oh, I did. The first time I won a title, my mom was so proud. She said she’d always wanted to compete but then she met my dad and fell in love. I felt like I was giving her a second chance to realize her dreams.”
“What about your dreams?”
“What about them?” I shrugged. I’d lost sight of what I wanted a long time ago. When I realized winning pageants made my mom smile again, I set out to do just that. It got to the point where Stella’s dreams had blended with my own, and I couldn’t tell what I really wanted anymore.
“The business you’re building with your mom and your mentor...”
“Monique.”
“Right, Monique. Is that something you believe in?”
“Of course.” But it was so much more complicated than that. I’d used my platform to speak about empowering young girls. So many times in the pageant world I’d seen the girls who had the big budgets use their experience to intimidate the girls who couldn’t afford to hire coaches and consultants. The businessI was building with Monique and Stella would be my way of supporting girls who couldn’t afford to compete at those levels.
“Sounds like there’s abutthere,” Jasper said.
I’d already crossed the line with Jasper. What difference would it make if I came clean about my reservations? “Giving money toward causes that will empower young girls is great. But I’d love to be more involved. When I talk to those girls, get to look in their eyes and tell them about my own experiences, that’s what fills my soul.”
“Then why aren’t you doing that?”
He made it sound so easy, so simple. “What do I tell Stella? ‘I know I said I wanted to run the business with you, but I’ve decided I just want to hang out with teenagers instead’?”
“Well, yeah, for starters. Can’t you do both?”
