Page 16 of Extra Grumpy
“I know.”
“Thank you for being a good friend.”
“And fake boyfriend,” I remind her.
She laughs softly, still leaning against me. “Yep. And fake boyfriend.”
“And soon-to-be fake husband, if your mom has anything to say about it.”
She laughs again. Then, slowly, she pulls her head off my chest. When she looks up at me, there’s something different in her eyes. I can’t tell what it is, but I know howI’mfeeling in this moment. My feelings for her pulse in my chest. I’ve spent so many years keeping my desire for her locked away, and most of the time it’s something I can manage. But right now the pain is sharp and raw, knowing that I can never act on these stifled feelings.
Emily’s expression goes through several micro-shifts as she looks up at me. She wets her lips, and then her lips part ever so slightly. Her brows dip a little like she’s trying to figure something out, then relax. Then her chin tilts up ever so slightly.
I inhale a breath as she tilts her chin up more and closes the space between our mouths.
The kiss she gives me is slow, tender. I’m in shock as it happens. I can’t believe it’s happening, now, finally, after all these years—and how much better it is than I’ve imagined. Her lips are so damn soft, her mouth is—
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, pulling away. She takes a step back from me, quickly pulling out of my grasp. “I don’t know what I was doing. I’m—shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. That was a mistake.”
I want to tell her there’s nothing to apologize for. That I’ve wanted this, wantedher, for so fucking long. That I’m basically a man obsessed. But the words won’t come. Her kiss has stunned me into silence.
And the look of regret on her face pains me to my core.
9
EMILY
What is the world's most expensive spice? Answer: Saffron.
What is the smallest mammal in the world? Answer: The Bumblebee Bat.
Who is a complete idiot and kissed her best friend last night? Answer: That’d be me. Emily Coleman.
I look away from my laptop, blinking away the strain that’s in my eyes from staring at the screen for too long. Since I last took a break, the tables around me in the cafe have filled up. There are some people working like me, but mostly there are just people relaxing and chatting with their hot drinks and baked goods.
I’ve gotten a lot of work done in the last few hours. I have a schedule figured out and a long list of questions for our first trivia night at the bar—provided, of course, that Rock doesn’t veto my plans. I’m glad I decided to use my day off to come here and get this stuff done.
But the truth is, I can only distract myself so much from thoughts of last night. Even though I’ve been productive today,it also feels like I’m hiding out and delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later I’m going to have to face Rock and deal with the consequences of what I did.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I kissed Rock. No, that’s exactly it—Iwasn’tthinking. I was in a weird mental place after the way my parents acted at dinner, and Rock was being so understanding about it…and he looked so good in that damn polo shirt…argh. It was like all logic disappeared from my head—or rearranged itself to suddenly convince me that there was something happening between us—and I acted without thinking it through.
I can’t believe I kissed him. That’s so obviously a line that cannot and should not be crossed. He’s my best friend. He’s everything to me.
And I’m the idiot who made a fool of herself and made everything weird.
I may have gotten caught up in the moment, but it didn’t mean anything. I’m sure Rock gets that. But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. Sleeping in the same bed again last night was uncomfortable to say the least. I made sure to stay as close to the edge as humanly possible. This morning, I got up before him and told him I was going out and then practically ran out the door.
At this point, I just hope things will go back to normal on their own. Ideally as soon as possible, thank you very much. The last thing I’d want is for our friendship to be changed because of one thoughtless misstep. He’s too important to me to lose.
The messed up thing is that it feltgoodkissing Rock. It was uncomfortable and red-alert panicky as soon as I realized what I was doing—but in the second or two before then, when I waswholly swept up in the moment, the sensation of the kiss surged through me like something magical.
I press my lips together, still vividly remembering the smoothness and heat of his lips.
No.Stop. I can’t be thinking about that.
My bladder complains, reminding me that I’ve just finished off a large coffee. I get up and use the cafe’s bathroom. On my way back, I pause at the community bulletin board installed on the wall. I’ll have to remember to ask the cafe owner if I can put up a flyer for our trivia night.
Rock better let me go through with it.
