Page 53 of Psychotic Nightmares

“Hey, darlin’, I heard I missed a great dance party. I’ll be taking that trophy next time.” He smiles. Distracting me from overthinking things.

“No doubt about it, Bull .” I chuckle and take his waiting hand as he helps me out of the car.

“So this brave young man must be Gustin.” He nods towards the back of the car, where Anya is stirring in her sleep again.

“Hi.” He gives Bull a little wave. “Can you help her?” He gestures toward Anya. “Please.”

“I sure will. Right after I stitch up your arm.”

Dante carefully picks up Anya and carries her inside. Me and Gustin follow close behind as he walks into the medical room. Julian is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, not looking at any of us as we walk past him.

Dante lays Anya on the bed and I cover her with the blanket. Gustin takes the seat beside the bed, and while Bull cleans and stitches up the wound, the young man never takes his hand from Anyas. Just as Dantes never leaves mine.

“Natalie.” His voice is small, unlike when he held a gun up to Pa.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her.” His lip trembles. “I tried. I really tried. I wanted to protect her like you did us.”

Pulling Dante along with me - because of how tight he is graspingmy hand there's no chance he’ll be letting go soon - I go round to the opposite side of the bed where Gustin is sitting. He looks so frail, so shattered. Nothing like the playful child I got to know all those years ago.

I never should have left him.

I should have gone back for them.

“You have nothing, and I mean nothing to apologise for.” I give him a one armed hug and he flinches. “Gustin, you have to be honest with us now. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

He lowers his head and slowly lifts his baggy top. I want to cry at the sight. His chest and abdomen is covered in cigarette burns. Leaning forward wenotice the words carved into his back. Red surrounds them while green and yellow pus leak from the cuts.

Himbo.

Man slut.

Stupid.

Useless.

Dante mutters something in Italian, his jaw clenching.

“They don’t hurt that much now.” Gustin says. “They just sting from time to time.” He’s putting on a front. Just like I used to do, I givehim a look. “I can’t lie to you, can I?” I shake my head. “They hurt, Nat. They hurt like hell.” He sobs. Dante finally released my hand and I pullGustin close.

“You’re out of there now.” I cry, “You’re never going to see them again. I promise.”

“I missed you.” He sobs louder. “I missed you so fucking much, Kanga.”

“I missed you too, Roo.”

Yes, we have our own nicknames for each other, and yes their characters from Winnie the Pooh. He first called me Kanga after a bad night of beatings and he tucked himself into my robe to rub my injuries better. Then it stuck, and he insisted on me calling him Roo. The other boys were always surrounding Ma, never leaving her side. Gustin was the only one who hated her, and she hated me because of it.

Not like I ever told Gustin that though, or blamed him for the extra beating I got whenever he sat on my lap at meal times, or cried for me to tuck him into bed - only for him to sneak out after Ma got high and sleep in my room.

The only safe room in the house considering Pa refused to touch my dirty body after getting sepsis.

“Please let Bull look you over.” I plead.

“Okay.” I keep him close as Bull looks over the cuts.

“They’re infected.” Bull confirms. “I have some antibiotics in the meds cabinet, take them three times a day for a week but first, I want to try and clean these up a bit..” He sighs. “As for these,” he points to the small burns. “They’ve already healed. We can only hope the scars fade eventually.”