Page 33 of Psychotic Nightmares

Just like his papa.

“She will be,figlio.” Dante says quietly back to his son. “Why don’t you watch the next episode of our show and you can tell me all about it later?”

“Okay papa.”

“You will be okay right?” Dante whispers into my ear.

“Yeah.” I hiccup. “I will be, I have to be.”

“No, you don’thaveto be, Nat. You don’thaveto be anything. If you can’t do it yourself we are here to help you. Whether it takes a few days or centuries. If you’re not okay, that’s understandable. Don’t force yourself to be happy if you’re not.”

His words sound like they have a hidden meaning behind them. I lift my head from his shoulder and gaze into his eyes. They shine with unshed tears, concern and still that little bit of hatred.

“I promise, I’ll be okay.” My voice comes out all croaky from sobbing. With me still in his lap, he shuffles across the bed until he can reach the small table beside it and hands me the half bottle of water from earlier. I keep my eyes onhis while I take a sip. Neither of us speak or move in the slightest. My eyes flicker down to his lips. God how I loved his lips. I loved everything about this man.

Eve-ry-thing.

He’s the first to move, capturing my chin between his finger and thumb, lifting my face up slightly. I gaze up at him and he shakes his head.

“We can’t, Nat.” He’s right. Of course he is. I close my eyes and slide from his lap. “I’m sorry.” I swing my legs off his lap, he shouldn'tbe the sorry one, I should. Even though we’re now sitting side by side, just millimeters away from each other - the distance between us feels neverending. The love is still there, yet so is the hate from the last five years. I take another sip of the water. Nico chuckles at something on the tablet and Dante smiles.

“Seems like I’m missing a good episode.” He stands to grab a drink from his backpack, passing one to Nico too before coming back across to the bed, sitting further away from me than before.

“Yeah.”

Silence, and more silence.

God Natalie, say something! My little finger twitches, I just want to touch him, to feel him.

He’s here. He’s really here. For me it feels like yesterday that we were planning a trip to the seaside to build a city of sandcastles with a two year old. But for him, it’s been a whole five years. Five years of torture, of confusion, of loathing me thinking I had left him. Five whole years of not knowing.

“Dante, I…” I slide my hand across the blanket toward his, the tips of our fingers touch when the door opens.

“Whatshappening in here?” Julian sounds pissed. I look around Dante to face the newcomer and his expression softens. Probably at my reddened eyes and cheeks.

“Why are you crying, treasure?” He glares icy daggers into Dante's back. “Did he upset you?”

I shake my head no, Dante leans in to whisper in my ear. “I won't tell him, if you want to you can. I will follow your lead.”

“Thank you.” I answer back in hushed tones.

Julian clears his throat, bringing our attention back to him. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Dante stands, “if you need me just shout.”

Julian rolls his eyes, “I’m not going to hurt her.” He tuts.

“You said that before.” Dante fights back, “now look at her.” He gestures to the drip in my arm.

“That wasn’t my fault. She put herself in that bed. And I told her what would happen if she tried to harm herself again.” I think back to the first note I got from him..

Shit, shit, fucking shit! I’m doomed.

Dante looks my way, taking note of my widening eyes before glaring back at Julian. “Lay one finger on her. I willshoot you down myself.” He picks up his son in one arm and his bag and jacket in the other. “That’s your final warning.”

We resolvednothing.After hours and hours of talking and drinking a colossal amount of tea. I still don’t know what side to follow. And now with memories coming back of Dante along with the feelings I had for him back then, I’m even more confused.

What would you do?

We spoke about everything, well Julian did. From his job as a hit man,a fucking hit man- to explaining why he wanted me to kill Howard. I tried to explain how I felt about the whole situation, but Julian was too far into his venting to let me get a word in. He’s never spoken this much. It’s like his mask was the tape stopping a leaky pipe, and now he’s removed it, he’s flooding the place.