Page 31 of Psychotic Nightmares

“Dante, I swear you are the weirdest person. You go to fast food places for fast food, not a damn salad.” Pea hands him his dinner, he takes it while still staring at me and thanks her. She tuts and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Damn you Pea, why did you leave me alone with him - again. Like she has been all week. Today is the worst he’s been with his mood though.

It must be because of Nico. Unless something else happened.

“So, have you spoken to Julian yet?” He asks, poking at his salad. I sigh and shake my head. “Are you ever going to sort things out with him?”

“I’m not sure.” I breathe as I unwrap my food. Nico has already devoured half of his nuggets. “I’m not sure I can trust him again.”

“You’re a fine one to talk about trust.” He tuts.

“What do you mean?” I ask around a mouthful of chicken and lettuce. Nico hums happily to himself beside me, completely ignoring the conversation the grown ups are having.

He shakes his head and starts eating his salad. I guess that's the end of that conversation then. “You will have to speak to him soon, Nat. He’s going crazy out there.” He eventually says.

“I know.” Over the last week I have been mentally draining myself trying to decide on what I want to do. “But I… I am just so freakingconfused.” I admit, then pat myself on the back for not swearing in front of Nico. “I don’t know if I can be with him after what he did. Yet, I can’t stop thinking about all the good times. I don’t hate him, Dante. I just hate what he did. I can’t forgive him, but I can’t walk away from him either.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. I’ve kept all this in all week, so saying it out loud brings relief, and for some reason - guilt.

I feel fucking guilty for everything I did after he tried to protect me. All he wanted to do was help me, to keep me safe. And I…

“Is uncle Jules your boyfriend?” Nico asks innocently.So much for thinking he’s ignoring the conversation between me and his papa. “Is that why he says papa isn’t your friend? My friend in school has a girlfriend and said she’s not allowed to have any friends that are boys which I think is stupid.Jenni can play soccer really well but Sam says she can’t play with boys because he’s her boyfriend.” He shoves some fries into his mouth. “So is Uncle Jules being like Sam?”

“Umm, well. It’s complicated.” I murmur.

“Why?” He stares up at me with his adorable brown eyes. They’re exactly like his dads.

“Because,” I sigh and look towards Dante for any kind of help. He smirks at me and repeats his son's question.Motherfucker.I narrowmy eyes at him. He surprises me by actually looking sorry.

“Because uncle Jules is a crazy psychotic stalker who followed me around for years and broke into my home to cook and clean for me, made me fall in love with him and then tried to make me kill my boss."Yeah,I can’t exactly say that to a child, even if it is the truth. “Because sometimes your heart can have mixed feelings for someone, and then your brain has to decide on what feeling you want to follow.”

I look back towards Dante after seeing Nico is satisfied with my answer. “Nice speech.” He smiles genuinely. “So what is your brain going to follow?” I put my wrap to the side, my appetite now completely gone - not like I had much to begin with anyway. Dante follows my hand with his eyes, his eyebrows furrow. Obviously annoyed at me for not finishing my lunch.

“At the moment I’m not sure.” I look away from his intense glare and fiddle with the hem of my, nope, Julian's T-shirt. “I’m so conflicted, Dante.” I let out a shaky exhale.

“I understand.” He puts down his half eaten salad and walks across to the bed. He uses his finger to lift my chin until I face him, his gorgeous chocolate eyes burn into mine. “So what would you do if you were in my shoes?” His gaze flickers down to my lips for a millisecond before coming up and meeting my eyes again.

What was that?

“Your shoes?” I whisper. My heart races under his delicate touch as his fingers glide from my chin up to my cheek.

He tells Nico to put on his headphones and watch something on his tablet. Nico jumps down, grabs the bits from the backpack Dante brought in with him and sits on the chair that his dad just evacuated. Dante sits on the edge of the bed still facing me. After double checking Nico can’t hear us he holds my face in his hands. “Come on Nat. Enough with the games.” One of his thumbs comes across and glides along my bottom lip. “What would you do if you were me?” He asks in a hushed tone. “Why did you leave me like you did?”

“What do you mean?” I breathe.

What the fuck is happening?

Why is he saying all this?

He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine, his body trembles as if he is holding back a strong emotion, and still he strokes my cheeks with his thumbs. “I mean, you left me the night I told you about my son and now you’re acting like he’s your best friend. You keep looking at me with that look, and you’reacting like we weren't in love once upon a time. Or was it all just a joke to you?” His voice has a hint of hatred mixed in with the sadness. “You broke me. You ripped out my heart with your hands and tore me apart.”

My breathing quickens.What the hell is he talking about?“What?” I gasp, “if this is another some sort of fucked up trick it’s not funny.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” He chokes and moves back. “You look more like yourself now you’ve cut your hair.” He starts to play with my shortened locks. “I hate you, Nat. I do after what you did.” He blinks a few times before continuing. “But I can’t help but still have feelings for you after all this time. I just don’t understand why you left me like you did.”

“Dante, I…” I shake my head. “I promise you, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“I guess I really was unforgettable.” He laughs. “That’s what I thought anyway. Until I saw that damn picture in your apartment.” He reaches for his back pocket and retrieves his wallet. Opening it he pulls out a folded picture. “I remember when I gave you your copy. You smiled so widely and told me that it was one of the happiest days of your life, and knowing you weren't alone made it even better.”

Unfolding the picture I can see the familiar background to the one framed on my wall. The one I looked at every morning.