Page 23 of Psychotic Nightmares

Natalie

BANG!

I jump as the gunshot rings out. I’m not sure if Dante has just shot Howard or Julian, either way I wouldn’t care right now. Why did Julian just try to make me take someone’s life when I didn’t want to? I told him no. And he went against my wishes. After everything that happened today he still tried to force me to do something I didn’t want to do.

“Why did you do that?” I hear Julian growl. Well I guess that answers my question of who did Dante just shoot? And yet, I still don’t understand why he is comforting me, why he came to my rescue when he can’t stand me. “Why did you have to get involved?”

“You wanted him dead, now he’s dead. What’s the problem?” Dante's chest vibrates as he speaks. His fingers still play with my hair delicately as he holds me close. I take some deep breaths to calm my rising anxiety. Dante makes shushing sounds against my hair in a calming manner. It feels oddly familiar.Why?I hear Julian pacing around the room as footsteps echo around in the silence. “You’re okay,gattina.” Dante whispers. “You’ll be okay.”Gattina?I don’t speak Italian and yet I know exactly what that word means. I just don’t know why he is calling me a kitten.I pull my face away from Dante’s chest and look toward where Julian stands by the fireplace. He is bent in front of it, using the poker to fiddle with whatever is in the flame. The tension is thick in the air. Julian’s face twists with a mix of anger and something I can’t quite put my finger on. He tilts his head to the side, letting the flames warm up his skin.

My fingers start to mirror Dantes, stroking softly above his shirt.

“You weren’t meant to kill him, she was.” Julian finally speaks, a deeper tone to his voice. One I’ve never heard before.

“Why?” Dante argues back. “Why did it have to be Natalie?”

“To get her power back.” Julian’s yelling now, and although I know deep down he won’t hurt me. My body still shakes with fear. “To make her feel in control again.” I feel Dante take a shaky breath. “So shehadto be the one to do it.” I turn my head a little to face away from Julian, I’m feeling so conflicted. I don’tknow whether to be pissed or hurt. All I know is that he’s fucking scaring me. I thought last night was bad when he had me pinned against the wall, but this. This is even more fucked up. I listen to Dante's steady heartbeat, taking slow, deep breaths until I feel my rhythm mimic his. “And now you have taken that power away from her.”

Dante's grip tightens a little, not enough to hurt, but just the right amount of pressure to help me stay calm. “She said no.” Dante spits each word out through gritted teeth. “No is a full sentence Julian. You tried to force her, just like he did.” His fingers start stroking the back of my neck under my shortened hair. I relax my hands and move them around to his back. His breath hitches at the action, but I don’t pull away. I don’t care if he hates my guts, I need this small bit of comfort.

Julian starts poking around in the fire again by the sounds of metal hitting metal. Each clang makes me jump. Each second that passes without words fills the air with more and more tension.

“Don’t compare me to that bastard.” Julian sounds furious when he finally speaks, more clanging sounds echo around us. “Don’t you ever compare me to that rapist prick.” I have to get away from him. I have to get away from them all. How could I have not known about Julian's deranged side after all this time? I’ve been so fucking delusional in thinking I could be happy with him. “Natalie, look at me.” I shake my head. “Look at what you’ve done now. You’re meant to be my brother and you’ve turned my woman against me.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.” I whimper under my breath.

“Me?” Dante laughs. “Fuck you,Julian. It wasn’t me that scared the fuck out of her.”

“I was trying to get her hercontrol back!” Julian yells. My body starts to tremble as they argue with each other. I whimper a little, Dante begins to rock gently. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

“Fucking bitch!” Pa shouts. He’s angry, very angry. “Justine you whore. Get back here.” I hear a door slam. “Fine, if you want to lock yourself away I’ll just go to Natalie.”No. Please, no.My bedroom door swings open. Pa is drunk. And when he drinks he likes toshout and use his hands in more ways than one, “get undressed. Your sister has locked herself away.”

“Please don’t Pa. It still hurts.” The night before was the first night he used his fingers inside me. And I knew it wasn’t a dream like the times before. I’ve been having nightmares of Pa touching me since I was five. Dreaming about him sneaking into my room and touching me. Watching him play with his private parts from the door. No. Last night definitely wasn’t a dream, not when I felt the pain this morning.

“What do I tell you?” His breath smells of whiskey. I can hear the ticking of his watch beside my ear as he pulls my hair to make me face him.

“Be a good girl.” I whimper.

“That’s right, so be a good girl for daddy.” He said while unbuckling his belt and freeing himself. “Now let me show you how good girls treat a man.”

And that was the first timePa raped me. I was just eight years old.

“I’m not arguing with you now, not in front of her.” Dante's arm goes around the back of my knees and I’m soon being lifted. He still smells of that familiar scent, but I don’t understand why he is helping me when he hates me.It’s so confusing. I wrap my arms around his neck as he holds me up with one of his arms. “I think she’s been traumatized enough.”

I open my eyes and see he is still holding the gun up, his arm unwavering as he points his weapon at Julian. The latter is holding up the knife I dropped in one hand, and the fire poker in the other, its tip red from the heat. Julian’s mask is on the floor by his feet. His eyes burn with anger toward us, and when he glares straight at me I look away, unable to stomach his fury. I thought Pa was bad when he killed poor Justine. But Julian, Julian is worse. Pa was drunk and out of control, Julian is sober and completely sane - or should I say insane.

No, he’s completely fucking unhinged!

Looking around, I see Howard, he’s slumped over, blood seeping from a wound in his head. He’s dead.Holy shit my boss is dead.

“Don’t look.” Dante whispers. I look up at him properly for the first time since he’s come into the room, he’s not wearing his mask either. Looks like he’s changed his clothes too, he isn’t wearing the full black outfit from earlier. Instead he donssome jeans and a dark V neck. I see the outline of a tattoo on his chest, it's green and pink but I can’t figure out what the design is. His fingers squeeze intomy bare thighs. I hide my face into his neck, noticing his skin goosebumps when my lips accidently graze against his soft skin. His jaw tightens as Julian lets out a groan of anger.

“Put. Her. Down.” Julian spits out each word. “Now.”

“No.” Dante starts to walk backwards towards the door. I feel him shake his head. I open my eyes and stare up at him. The stubble on his jaw scratches against my temple. His Adam'sapple bobs when he takes a nervous gulp.

“Dante.” Julian sounds scarily calm.

“No.” Dante shakes his head again. His eyes dartdown to me quickly before going back to Julian. “I can’t trust her with you. I’m taking her to Pea.”A whoosh passes my ear, then a clanging sound echoes as the knife he’s just thrown bounces off the sliding metal door, the handle of the knife barely grazing my cheek as Dante jumps to the side. “You crazy bastard.” He puts me down and stands in front of me protectively.