Page 11 of Psychotic Nightmares

We did it, we finally got his name!

“Julian.” I whisper to him as he still sleeps beside me. I can’t believe he finally told me his name, I always thought it would be something crazy to match his personality. But he has such a normal name. “Julian, wake up. I have to go.” I say a little louder. He holds me tighter against his chest.

OMG he’s so cute!

I must have turned around in the night because I’m now facing him. His mask has slipped a little, showing a little of his jawline and the corner of his lips. He has a small scar on his bottom lip, some more around his chin and jawline, small like scars you would get from chicken pox, but not round like them. These look more like small, deliberate slices. Reaching up, I glide a finger across the scar on his lip, down his exposed jaw, then down his neck. The stubble tickles my skin. His lips lift in the corner with a small smile, making my heart skip a little. I always imagined his smile, but now I know what it actually looks like.

Aren’t we lucky?

“Good morning.” He chuckles. “How are you feeling now?” I glide my hand up his cheek underhis mask, he turns a little and presses his lips against my palm before turning back to me, making my heart skip a beat. Even though yesterday was brutal, this man, this sweet, desirable, loving man, can always bring a smile to my face.

“Better than yesterday, but still in a bit of shock. Why did he do it?” I sigh. Most people wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed the morning after a traumatic experience. But for me this is normal. After being molested, raped and beaten from a youngage, what’s one more assault to add to the list.

Yes I know I should go to therapy, but screw that. I’m not gonna sit with a stranger and talk about feelings. Not when I have you and Mr stalker.

“Don’t go to work today, please.” He speaks softly, tucking my hair behind my ear.

Swoon.

“I have to.” I lift my leg over his, trying to get as close to him as possible. He shuffles into me, obviously feeling the same.

“Then please don’t stay alone with him.” He pleads. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.” He places his hand over mine where it rests on his cheek under his mask. “You have no idea what I would do if you get hurt again.” His fist clenches behind my back. I freeze, not knowing what he is going to do, but he relaxes his hand.

My skin goosebumps under his gentle touch as he lifts my top and strokes up and down my spine, his gentle side makes my heart flutter. This isn’t the first time we’ve been close like this, I’ve hugged up to him many times, especially after a nightmare and I’ve got up to get a drink to find him asleep on the couch.

I’m not ashamed to say I woke him by snuggling up beside him, yet he never complained, not once. He just held me while I cried. Comforted me as I told him about my dreams. He stayed silent, never interrupting me, never cutting me off. Just silentlyconsoling me in my times of need.

“I can’t promise anything. He is my boss. I can’t stop him if he sends people home.” I sigh, I understand where Julian is coming from, but I can’t cower away. I didn’t cower away from Pa, or my coworkers. I didn’t cower away when I first saw Mr Stalker in my kitchen. So I’m not going to run away from Mr Howard.

“Then call me. Text me. Just tell me please.” He exhales.

“I don’t have your number.” I chuckle.

“You do, I added it for you last night.” He smiles.God, I love his smile.

Stretching over his massive torso, I feel for my phone and hold it up behind him so I can see the screen. He seems to pouta little at me not rubbing his cheek anymore. Unlocking my phone I scroll through the limited number of contacts and laugh out loud. “Mr Stalker?”

“That is what you call me.” He beams.

“So Ican’t call you Julian now?” He stills, his jaw dropping. “Oh, I was awake, I heard you.” I feel his smile against my neck as he hides his masked face.Is he embarrassed?

“I thought you were sleeping.” He huffs, then gently presses his lips to my shoulder in a soft kiss - again. When am I actually going to feel his lipson mine. I’m not complaining about the shoulder kisses, I think they’re so fucking sweet. I’m just…

I dunno how to explain it.

“What is the time?” He peeks over his shoulder to look at my phone, distracting me from my thoughts. “Almost time to get up right?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “I’d rather stay here all day with you, but I can’t.” I yelp as he snatches my phone from my hand, places it back on the table and spins so I lay on top of him. “I can’t stay, Julian.” He covers us both with the duvet and the warmth of both him and the cover relaxes me. I mirror his actions from last night, lifting his shirt up slightly and stroking his hip. He echoes me, stroking along my spine.

“You can, just call in sick.” He whispers and I snuggle my face against the crook of his neck. “And say my name again.”

“Julian.” I murmur against his skin. “Mr Julian Stalker.” I giggle. He laughs quietly. “I have to start getting ready.” I groan.

“Promise to keep me updated.” He tells me.

“I promise.” I whisper. “Now please let me go. I have to get showered and dressed.”

“My strong, brave woman.” He says quietly. “You are such an inspiration, treasure.”I’ve read these words from him before but hearing them come from him is a different story. “I always find myself worrying so much about you. I want to keep you safe, protect you in every way I can. I am so fucking obsessed with you it hurts. It hurts not being able to be with you. To be able to be open and honest with you. I want to, I really do. But Ican’t.If anyone finds out we’re together you could get really hurt, or killed. I won’t risk it. Hell, even you knowingmy name is a risk.”