AINSLEY: Spell it out for the rest of us who only got two hours of sleep because their toddler is living her best life in sleep regression
DALLAS: Do you need me to come back out?
AINSLEY: I’ve got it
DALLAS: I know you do but I can help
AINSLEY: You can’t come here every time I need help—if you are you should just move in and be my manny
PIPER: Let’s come back to that
PIPER: Levi was just telling us about how he got back together with Brock even though we all told him not to do it
LEVI: You’re dead to me
DALLAS: Are you fucking kidding me?
LEVI: I know, okay?
DALLAS: I’m sending all of you my therapy bill
AINSLEY: So that’s how he’s so normal
PIPER: Weird
LEVI: I only talk about my feelings with you guys
AINSLEY: We’re all screwed
PIPER: Except Dallas
PIPER: Because apparently he’s our designated adult
DALLAS: I need to go work so I can make enough money to be everyone’s traveling babysitter
LEVI: I don’t need a babysitter
DALLAS: I’m not talking to you right now
PIPER: Oh shit
LEVI: Don’t worry. He’s going to text me on the side so he can yell in shouty caps
AINSLEY: That sounds nice
AINSLEY: I’m going to go see if we have anything to eat besides animal crackers
DALLAS: Your grocery order will be there in thirty
AINSLEY: Now I’m crying
AINSLEY: I love you
DALLAS: I love you too. No one make any bad decisions. No ex-boyfriends. No new boyfriends. Or bosses. Or brothers. OR FUCKING ANYONE. No. Just no.
DALLAS: Are we clear? I’m too young for blood pressure meds
PIPER: Aye aye, Captain