Page 185 of Maple Mountain
“Let me see if I can coax Lenni down,” I said.“Watch the kettle.”
I headed up the stairs and stood outside Lenni’s door.I knocked and held my breath.
“Come in,” she called out.
I opened the door.She was sitting on the floor with Mildred in her lap.
“The gals are here,” I said to her.
“Oh.”She bent her head.
“Poet brought you a book,” I went on.“And Hadley’s about to eat a cookie with mustard on it.Five bucks says it doesn’t stay down.”
That didn’t even get a flicker of a smile out of her.
“Poet brought Lottie,” I said, trying again.
Mildred perked up and launched herself off Lenni’s lap and darted out the door.
“At least that made someone happy,” I remarked.“Okay, well, come down if you want.No worries if you don’t.”
I was about to leave when she spoke.“The Christmas decorations ...it just reminded me that my mom is gone.And I ...I miss her, but ...”
“You’re having more and more moments where you’re happy and that makes you feel guilty.”
She looked at me and nodded.
“I felt that way too after Aubrey died,” I said.“Losing a friend isn’t the same as losing a mom.But loss is loss.”
“Sometimes I feel so normal.Not like I forgot that she died, but there are times when it’s not the first thing I think about.”
“Yes.That happens.”
“The Christmas decorations just reminded me that I’ll never have another Christmas with her.But if she was still alive, I wouldn’t have Archer.”She paused.“I wouldn’t have you.And I love Archer.I love you, too, Wyn.”
My own eyes filled with tears, and I moved to sit down in front of Lenni.
“I may be having a baby,” I said, my voice soft.“But you’re my first, Lenni.I love you like you’re mine.And you never, ever have to worry about whether or not I love you.You never have to feel bad about missing your mom, either.You feel what you need to feel.Always.”
Her breath escaped like air from a leaky balloon and she nodded, swiping the tears from her cheeks.
“Your father and I were talking the other night about you and school.”
“What about it?”she asked.
“We thought you might want to be homeschooled,” I said.“You could study in the mornings with me but then have outside time in the afternoons.Maybe spend some time with Archer and learn about horses.It won’t make up for lost time, but?—”
She launched herself at me.“Yes!”
Laughing, I hugged her tight.
She pulled back.“You’re the best.You know that?”
“I do know that.”I grinned.“But so are you.Come on, let’s go find out how many cookies with mustard Hadley’s eaten.”
ChapterForty-One
The Ranch
