Page 68 of The Love We Deny
“A little,” he admits, and I start to turn around, to lie back down and end this conversation, but his hand tightens around my wrist. “Hey. Come on. It was just a little edging. I didn’t know you were gonna feel like this.”
“You never think about how I feel.” I pull free from his grip. “You’ve never once considered that I might have feelings in all this. I told you I liked you, and you laughed in my face. You kissed me and said it meant nothing.”
“This isn’t some sort ofgame,” he says after a deep sigh. “I know, okay? I know I’m not good at this. Why do you think I’ve never had a stable relationship in my entire life? But I don’t think you’re ajoke.”
“Then why?”
He doesn’t answer that.
I let out a long, exhausted breath. “I’m not sleeping with you anymore,” I say, and the words feel strange, considering we’ve never actuallyslepttogether. “If you want to keep…seeingme, then take me on a date. Otherwise, we’re done.”
The silence that follows hurts more than the first rejection. And then, to no one’s surprise, he laughs at me.Again. “A date.”
“Just go away.”
He runs a hand over his face, pressing his fingers into his eyes with a groan. “You want me to take you on a date.”
“Will,” I say, wishing he would leave so I can go back to my misery. “Go home. I’ll get over it eventually and—”
“Fine.”
“Good,” I start to lie back down, but he stops me with a hand on my leg.
“No, asshole. I mean, fine. I’ll take you out.” He stands from the bed with a stretch, the bottom of his shirt riding up. “But I’m not gonna like it.”
I stare at him in disbelief.
He’s going to—
What?
“Alright then. Now that that’s settled.” He moves toward the door, stopping with a hand on the doorknob. “Tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up. Don’t wear something stupid.”
With that, he leaves. I listen to his footsteps on the stairs, the front door closing, and then nothing.
Fine. He said fine when I asked him on a date. But he didn’t want to lose me. So somewhere, deep down, maybe he does feel something for me.
And right now, that feels like enough.
Chapter 18
Before
Addie’s first Christmas is everything we hoped it would be. Tons of presents from Santa, the cutest pictures, and an adorable outfit that Jess stressed herself out over for nothing.
Joyce went all out decorating, a massive tree, garland, bows everywhere. Addie has no idea what it means, but she looks around at all the decorations with the wonder of a baby seeing it all for the first time, and maybe I get a little teary-eyed looking at her.
Jess is in the kitchen, helping her mom with the sides, while Frank tries to teach me about football even though he knows I don’t know a thing about sports.
But with this being my first Christmas without my parents, I don’t mind the distraction. And I think he knows that too.
Even Will is here, and it’s going well.
At first.
He lets himself in, a surprise to everyone, considering he’s been out of touch for the last year. Off doing who knows what. But he’s all smiles and hugs his mom, and everything seems alright. He even looks nice, in a worn leather jacket I’ve seen him wear throughout the years.
Smells nice too.
