Page 72 of Vicious Butterfly
“He said he wanted alone time with you. I didn’t know he’d do that.”
I’m too furious to respond to that comment. What the fuck did he think alone time meant? “Consider me aptly chastised for telling you to fuck off. You need to call whatever this is off, sir.”
It’s his turn to stare out the window, quiet. “Nothing has been finalized, but this wasn’t just a warning, Ryan. The formal merger between the Kline and Savage families is real. You don’t need to marry him now, but I expect you to marry him by Christmas.”
“You want a way to keep me on a leash.”
“We saw what happened when you were free to make your own choices. You made the wrong ones. You’ll thank me for this someday.”
“Thank you? Why? Because I’ll have eight beautiful children, two stepchildren, and a husband who thinks I’m his whore?”
I shiver at the word whore. Tate calls me that. For some reason, it’s okay when he does. What’s the difference?
You feel safe with Tate, my brain echoes back. But why?Why?It makes no fucking sense. I’m about as safe with Tate as I am with Kline. I should get far away from both of them.
Father’s still staring out the window. What’s up with him tonight? Something’s different, but I can’t put my finger on what. “You’re a Savage heir. You have a responsibility to the family. I’ll agree that it’s not an optimal situation, but it is your future. Tonight was for getting used to the idea.”
Rocks sink to the bottom of my stomach.
My brain does what it usually does, whirring into how things won’t be so bad. I won’t be with Kline for most of the year. We’ll probably have nannies for the children who are likely only wanted to pass down the Kline name. Not something I’d ever choose but doesn’t look like I’m getting the luxury of choice. If I play nice with Kline, he’ll play nice with me.
I think.
Hopefully.
My hands clench in time with the rest of my guts. I could survive it, but I don’t want to survive my life—I want to enjoy it. Why are my fucking choices always the shittiest of fucking choices?
I peer at my father. Is that what he’s done? Is that what he’s still doing? Surviving his life. Maybe he’s forgotten anything else.
“I won’t do it. I’m not marrying Kline,” I say.
“You will, if I have to have you dragged down the aisle.”
“You can’t make me say I do.”
There’s a long, eerie silence. Father’s burning rage heats the air, but he says nothing. His head snaps in my direction when he’s reached some kind of internal crescendo. “Griffon isn’t making as much progress as he was. If he doesn’t, maybe I’ll have to find another place for him. There’s always the army or even Riverview.”
Riverview is a psychiatric hospital in the middle of nowhere. Our parents—all parents in elite society—like to threaten to send us there if North Point isn’t enough to make us fall in line.Thankfully, I’ve never been sent there. I suspect that Kane has, but he’s never said. Riverview’s usually an endpoint. If you get out, you consider yourself the recipient of a miracle.
My heart races, and I run a hand through my hair. If Father uses either of those options, Griff won’t be just beyond my reach, but Tate’s, too.
“Is that the trade-off? I marry Kline peacefully, and you leave Griff alone?” But I’ve been here before. I’ve made this deal. Griff was supposed to go to Shadowridge, not North Point. Look how well that worked out. How the fuck do I stop him?
“I’m not sure. You haven’t seemed to respond to the deals we’ve made. Making deals leads you to think you have negotiating power—you don’t. Maybe the solution is to put Griff away somewhere, and your behavior can dictate how soon he gets out.”
Those suffocating claws always lurking in the background when I’m with Father cinch around my ribcage. I breathe carefully so that I don’t give myself away. It’s on the tip of my tongue to beg him, but Savages don’t beg. All I can do is leave that in the fucking air, pretending—and failing—not to give a fuck.
I close my eyes, heart pounding now. Fucking Tate comes to mind. Am I really gonna have a what-would-Tate-do moment? It’s such a fucking risk, but I’ve got nothing to lose, and I’ve got to do something.
“Do that, and I walk.”
Father’s steady gaze never wavers; mine wants to, but I hold firm.Don’t shake. Don’t shake. Don’t fucking shake.
“You would abandon your brother?”
“Never. But I can’t trust you. Your word means shit, sir.”
“My number one priority is doing what’s best for this family. Our name. One day you’ll be in my position, Ryan. You’ll understand what that means, what we have to do.”
