Page 115 of Vicious Butterfly
Only, it’s moved beyond getting out of here. He’s the only decision, because I can’t imagine not being with him. If I tell Becks that, he’ll think I’ve gone off the deep end. Maybe I have.
His tongue moves behind his teeth as he thinks. “I’ve been helping your brother,” he finally admits.
“What?”
“He doesn’t want me to tell you, he’s gonna be fucking pissed at me, but he’s been struggling.”
“Yeah, no shit. That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing.”
“They’ve been pressuring him to enlist, Rye.”
All the air leaves the room. That misty swarm of happy little bees becomes hornets. “No. That’s not supposed to happen.”
“They are. I don’t know how long it’ll be before they simply ship him off.”
“Verbal communication is essential in the army. Medical won’t approve him,” I say. Becks sucks in a breath. “He’s talking, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
I should be happy about that, but the way they got him to talk was probably horrific. I’m surprised it worked at all.
“It’s still a work in progress, but it’s improved … enough. They expect him to be ready by the end of the year. MEPS is supposed to approve him next week.”
“They’re not even gonna let him finish school?” Becks shakes his head.
“Look, it’ll be fine if we get him out of here. Your man needs to pull his weight. What’s his fucking plan?”
Icannottell him Tate ghosted me. “He’s got one, okay? I’ll call him today.”
“Well, if that doesn’t pan out, we’ll come up with a plan. I’ve got a little money, we pool mine with yours, and we get out of here.”
“If it were that easy, I’d have done that by now, bro.” Not to mention, Tate would hunt me down. I’m twice as stuck here as I was before. “I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, thanks for looking out for him. I appreciate it.”
Rhys shrugs. “Don’t mention it.”
He returns to washing his hair while I silently fume. Tate better have a good fucking reason for ignoring me.
“What about you, Rye?” he says after a minute.
“What about me?”
“What do you want? Unrelated to Griff and Tate and your father. What does Ryan Savage want to do with his life?”
“Well, uh, I mean, hockey. Obviously.” But my voice strangles on the word hockey.
“You don’t sound so sure.”
He’s right, but it’s complicated. I was ripped out of my dream career after a killer rookie season. For years all I thought about was going back. It was the hope I clung to while I survived my father. It’s so fucked up, but it’s like that old dream is haunted now. It’s become nothing more than a survival fantasy. And yet, I still love hockey with all my being. I want to play, but the thought of returning to the big leagues churns my stomach.
None of it makes sense.
“I don’t think I know what I want,” I admit. “Fuck, I can’t be thinking about this shit anyway. Those factors do exist, and what I want doesn’t matter. So long as I need to protect Griff, hockey will have to come second.”
Rhys huffs, licking his lips. He studies me, tapping his fingers on the shower tiles. “You’re making me fucking sad, dude.”
Yeah, me too.
I punch him in the arm. “Stop asking about sad ass shit then.” I turn off the shower and grab my towel off the hook. “Now, I’m gonna go before Tate finds out your dick was this close to me.”
