Where did that come from?
Geez, you’d think she was the one turningmedown four years ago the way my mind wants to slip into the groove of that train of thought.
She catches my eye and freezes, glancing down at herself. “What is it? Did I spill gravy on myself or something?”
I cough. “No, I um…” I’ve somehow forgotten every word in the English language. “I was just… Listen, Vera, I wanted to ask—shit!” Just in time I remember I left the faucet running and spin to switch off the faucet, narrowly stopping the water in the sink from spilling over onto the floor.
She nudges me aside. “Let me wash. You won’t have to get out the step ladder to reach the top cupboards.” She hands me the towel.
We’re standing so close I give into the temptation to lean in and catch a whiff of her scent just to reassure my bear that I’ve read this wrong. She’s not even thinking about me anymore.
What I get instead is a lungful of a perfume so strong I have to turn my face away with my eyes stinging.
Damn. I’m still choking back a cough as she puts the first few glasses into the water and starts scrubbing. The silence stretches on until I can’t stand it any longer.
“Have you been good?” I say, even though I’m pretty sure I asked her that already.
“Good. Great. You?”
I frown. Is it just my imagination, or did she answer a little too quickly?
“Can’t complain.” I mean I could, but I won’t. She doesn’t want to hear about my failed love life. I fumble and finally land on something safe to talk about. “You must be looking forward to being an intern. I remember my internship. Felt like breathing after being cooped up too long at school.” I love that she’s studying to become a park ranger just like me. Love that she loves the outdoors and nature and all the things I love too. In my more ridiculous moments, I used to let myself imagine she’d picked that course so she could come back to Mosswood and work right beside me.
Silly thought, but one I’ve indulged in quite a few times.
Now she looks around, gifting me with a wide smile as she hands me a dripping glass which I scoop up with the tea towel. “Right? I can’t wait.”
I nod. “Where’d you get? Is it local?”
“Nah. Down south. Silver Hollow Park.”
“Beautiful.” Even though I can’t imagine working anywhere except Black Pines Park or living anywhere else except Mosswood, I can see the appeal. The rugged landscape. The open spaces.
“Yeah.”
The next silence doesn’t feel so tense. When Riley finally drags his ass in to help, we’re almost done. Vera shoves the wet cloth at him with a huff. “That had better have been a really important message.”
He gives us both a very serious look. “You have no idea how stressful it is having three girlfriends when none of them knows about the others. Especially at Christmas.”
Vera rolls her eyes. “Ugh. You are just as gross as always.”
Even I shake my head at my friend’s antics. I don’t think he’s really as cold hearted as he lets on, but he sure puts on a good act sometimes.
Riley shrugs. “Hey, calm down. It’ll be different when I find my fated mate, but until then, what’s the point?”
Vera stares at him for a moment in silence. Then she shakes her head and snatches her sweater back off the hook. “Because people without fated mates aren’t worth effort, is that it?”
When she storms out, Riley tries to laugh it off, but I can’t join in. “That was a bit heartless, man.” I’d like to go after her, but I also know sometimes she needs some space to cool off when Riley winds her up.
Riley sighs. “I don’t get it. I’d do anything not to be saddled with the responsibility of committing to someone for the rest of my goddam life. She doesn’t know how good she has it.”
I dry the last dish and stack it away, thinking about what he said.
I’m scared as hell of finding my fated mate too, but not for the same reason he is. I’d love to find her. Someone to cherish. Someone to build a home with. I want that so much sometimes it’s like a physical ache inside my belly. I have nightmares about finding my fated mate, though, because whenever I try to picture her, she’s small and fragile, and any mate of mine can’t be either of those things.
What if I find her and we don’t fit? What if I hurt her?
I could never forgive myself.
