Page 155 of Clinically Bewitched
I felt my left eye twitch.
“You want me to find a house with good vibes?”
“Yes.”
“Without you there to assess the vibes?”
“Yes.”
“How am I supposed to know if a house has good vibes if you’re not there?”
“You’ll figure it out.” She smiled. “The universe will guide you.”
The universe, I thought,is going to guide me straight into a nervous breakdown, a psychiatric facility, and possibly an early grave.
My eye twitched harder.
“She wants WHAT?” Hayden asked, his coffee cup frozen halfway to his mouth.
We were in the hospital cafeteria: me, Nathan, Hayden, Gabriel, Quinton, Winnie, and Fitz. I called an emergency meeting because I was, quite frankly, losing my mind.
“Good vibes,” I repeated. “The house has to have good vibes.”
“What does that mean?” Nathan asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Did you ask her?”
“Yes. She said I have to feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“The vibes.”
Silence.
Then Hayden started laughing.
“This is not funny,” I said.
Not just laughing.Cackling. Like a hyena that had just heard the funniest joke in the history of comedy. “This ishilarious,” he corrected, wiping tears from his eyes. “This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all year. The universe looked at your house-hunting spreadsheet and said, ‘You know what would really mess with Julien? VIBES.’”
“The universe is a menace.”
“The universe is a comedian,” Fitz said, grinning. “And you’re the punchline.”
“The universe is a sadist,” I corrected. “Can we focus? I need help.”
“We know,” Gabriel said kindly. “What kind of help?”
“I need you all to come house hunting with me.”
“Why?” Quinton asked.
“Because maybe one of you can figure out what good vibes means.”
“Julien,” Nathan said carefully. “None of us know what good vibes mean.”
