Page 49 of Clinically Bewitched
And then this was the moment I knew I was going to love this woman. She started laughing.
Not polite laughter. Not restrained laughter.
Full, gasping, doubled-over, tears-streaming-down-her-face laughter.
She pointed at Julien.
He glared at her.
She laughed harder.
“You!” she gasped. “You got...” More laughter. “You gotmarried!”
“Vivian, if you could please—”
“To a STRANGER!” She was wheezing now. “In LAS VEGAS!”
“I’m aware of what happened.”
“Mr. I-Have-A-Contingency-Plan-For-My-Contingency-Plans.”
I couldn’t help it. I started giggling too. Not at Julien. Well, maybe a little at Julien but mostly at the situation. At the absurdity of it. At the way the universe had taken this man who controlled everything and thrown him into complete chaos.
But then I looked at him.
Really looked at him.
And underneath the glare, underneath the rigid posture and the clenched jaw, I saw something else.
Exhaustion.
Real, bone-deep exhaustion.
The kind that came from fighting the universe for too long.
My giggling stopped.
Vivian was still laughing, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m sorry, I just... theirony. The beautiful cosmic irony. You, of all people. You probably had a color-coded itinerary for this trip, didn’t you? A schedule? And now you’re married to”—she looked at me, taking in my flowy dress, my crystals, my duffel bag covered in spiritual patches—“someone who probably doesn’t even own a planner.”
“I have a planner,” I said. “It’s just more of a... feelings journal. With some dates in it. Sometimes.”
Vivian laughed again. “Oh, this isperfect. This is... Julien, do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve married your exact opposite. Your complete antithesis. The yin to your yang. The chaos to your order. The—”
“I get it,” Julien said tightly.
“Do you, though?” Vivian was grinning now, clearly enjoying this. “Because I don’t think you do. I don’t think you understand howhilariousthis is. You, Mr. I-Alphabetize-My-Spice-Rack, married to... what did you say your name was?”
“Athena.”
“Athena. Who probably believes in astrology and crystals and—”
“And tarot,” I added helpfully. “And energy healing. And the power of manifestation. And...”
“This is the best day of my life,” Vivian said. “This is... I’m going to tell this story at every family gathering for the rest of time. I’m going to tell yourchildrenabout this. Yourgrandchildren.”
“We’re getting an annulment,” Julien said.
“Sure you are.” Vivian was still grinning. “Just like you were going to ‘loosen up’ in Vegas. Just like you were going to ‘have fun’ and ‘not overthink everything.’ How’d that work out for you?”
