Page 43 of First in Line

This time, his mismatched irises meet mine. “You do?”

“Yes, I—”

Jittery, I bring two fingers under my bra and pull out the little packet I slipped in there before he came to pick me up. I snuck into my mom’s room to steal it and quickly hid it there, worried she’d find it otherwise.

Jackson stares at the silvery condom packet, jaw loose, expression confused. “Are you—are you sure?”

I nod.

“I’m okay to wait more, Evie.”

“I’m not. I really, really want to do it.”

He takes the condom and looks at it for a moment before his focus is on me again. “Are you sure we have time?”

Per usual, I’m supposed to be home by midnight, but my mom won’t notice if he brings me back later. She’s always passed out on the couch anyway, with a half-empty bottle of Jägermeister on the floor by her side. She never sees me come home, so we definitely have time for this.

“Yes, we’re good.”

“It will hurt, you know?”

Again, I nod. I don’t have anything to compare him to, but I’ve heard other girls talk about their boyfriends’size. That’s why I’m pretty sure Jackson is much bigger than average, which isn’t optimal for a first time. But I can’t imagine doing it with anyone other than him, so whatever it takes, I’ll willingly endure it.

To prove to him I’m ready, I tug at the straps of my dress along with my bra and push them down my arms, revealing my breasts. He’s seen them a few times before, so I’m not as shy as I used to be. Still, when his eyes lower, transfixed, I can’t help the warmth of embarrassment that has my face reddening.

“I want to do it with you, Jax. Tonight.”

He hesitates, or holds back, for only three more seconds before passionately returning his lips to mine.

We kiss with an entirely new purpose, and his hands play with my bare chest, fingers toying with the perky tips. When he pulls away, he looks as horny as I feel, eyes dark with want and need.

“Do you want me to go down on you first?”

I didn’t think my face could get any redder, but I feel it warm up as I offer him a shy nod.

Jax doesn’t need to be told twice, and his eager mouth begins a slow descent down my body, kissing between the swells of my breasts, then over the cotton of my dress. We left the door at our feet open, and he slowly lets himself slip out until he’s leveledwith my white panties. A shiver courses through me when he slips his fingers under the elastic band at my hips.

From his lower vantage point, he stares up at me, asking me a silent question, waiting for one more confirmation. Instead of nodding, I raise my hips, inviting him to take them off. My gaze is on the roof as he does, my breathing already messy and ragged.

This is it. After one entire year of dating, we’re finally doing it. And yes, I’m a little scared, but I’m also very excited. I can’t think of a single person I’d rather be doing it with. And I don’t think I’ll ever want it with anyone else but him.

I’m the one who got lucky that night, when he and his friends robbed the liquor store.

Where else would I have found such love?

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” I ask one more time, still staring at the picture on the fridge.

I barely hear what my mom answers, focused on the two kids in that old Polaroid snap. The colors have faded, but I can still make out every detail. We look so young. Jax doesn’t have those sharp features quite yet, but they’re there, hiding under his youthful face. And me… I look so innocent and naive in that white dress that didn’t fit right.

“You two were so adorable together,” my mom says, appearing next to me. “A shame it didn’t work out. For a moment there, I really thought it would.”

“So did I.”

She opens the fridge, which rips me away from the nostalgic sight. After she’s taken out a carton of milk, she asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?”

“No, I told Nathan I’d be home early. We received the cake tasting samples, and we have to try them out quickly.”

“I see. Next time.”