Page 121 of First in Line

We walk down the upstairs hallway, back to the incredible bedroom we’d have if we pick this house. There’s also a furnished dressing room and a massive en suite bathroom.

Stepping behind me, he wraps me in his arms as we both observe the empty space. “Can you imagine the lazy weekends in here?”

“The ones you’re not racing.”

“Clearly.”

“It would be nice,” I concede. “Very nice.”

“And that living room downstairs? We can get one of those massive TVs and have cozy evenings together, slouched on a ridiculously comfortable couch.”

“That sounds great, too.”

“And did you see that built-in bench in the walk-in shower? So many possibilities,” he whispers in my ear before nipping at its lobe.

I practically purr, melting further into his arms. “You should switch careers and become a real estate agent. You’re incredible at it.”

“I’m doing my best. We could try getting a few plants to bring some life into this place. Maybe some will survive this time.” I give him a pouty side look for the teasing. He kisses my temple before returning his gaze forward. “It’s only for a couple of years, princess. As soon as I’m in Formula One, I’ll get you that house I promised you in Tuscan.”

“Tuscany.”

“Right.”

“I mean, I’d love that, of course. But if we’re happy here, we can also stay a little longer. It’s close to your team’s headquarters, so I imagine it’s convenient.”

“You’d be okay with staying here a few extra years?”

“If the weather isn’t always this gloomy, yeah. It’s a beautiful house.”

Slowly, he spins me around, keeping me close. “If you prefer one of the other houses, we can, of course, go that route. But when I saw this one on the website, I don’t know, it felt… right.”

“It’s my favorite as well.”

Knowing he’s won, he doesn’t even try to hold back a broad grin. “Should we head downstairs and tell her we’ll take it, then?”

I ponder for a few beats, my gaze repeatedly going from his brown to his blue eye. Eventually, I give in with, “I guess so, yes.”

Excited, he dives in for a long, joyful kiss. When he pulls away, I’m feeling warm all over, especially my cheeks, and all my doubts about this house have faded.

Hand in hand, we walk to the stairs to share our decision with the realtor.

This won’t be our forever home, but something tells me we’ll be very happy here, and the great times we’ll have here will make for some fond memories.

Our next house, though… that’ll be where we spend the rest of our lives and grow old together.

My return to reality is rough. I genuinely love the life I built in Colorado, my job, and my friends. But I miss Jax. Terribly. And it hasn’t even been a week since we said goodbye in London.

To think that I actually believed I could join him in Monaco and then come home unaffected is laughable. Of course, he effortlessly swayed my mind. All he needed for that was a few days, and I gave him two entire weeks.

But even now, as I find myself randomly smiling like a lovesick teenager, I try to reason with myself. He is on probation. Or, I suppose,weare.

I would never consider our seven years together as wasted time. They shaped the woman I became, and no matter how bad things got, I experienced the happiest moments of my life by his side. But getting lost in this, in him, for another seven years before I find the courage to walk away would be a waste. Especially since I’d take years to move on, like last time.

That’s why I gave him until the end of the season to convince me. If we can somehow make it work until then, maybe there’s hope, indeed. With twenty-four race weekends all around the world every season, Formula One is one of the most demanding jobs on the planet. And if that wasn’t enough, it comes with weeks and weeks of contractual obligations that range from press tours to sponsor events. That leaves very little time for a relationship, and I’ve learned I’m too greedy in my need for him to accept that.

Back then, I’m not sure either of us realized just how overwhelmingly intense the job really was. We knew it would demand a lot of work to get there, but we always saw it as a silver lining. The day he’d finally make it, everything would suddenly be alright. Having matured now, I see how silly our reasoning was.

But maybe, just maybe, he’ll show me there is a way to make it work after all. Some of the other drivers have relationships. Families, even. We just need to find our own balance.