Page 63 of Vexing Valmir
"Mmm, Ja?—"
"Hush, female." He pops his thumb back into my mouth, silencing me. "You're going to kill my erection."
I run my tongue over his thumb and give him a lascivious smile.
Valmir gazes down at me for a long, tender moment. "I'm going to try harder to get along with the others. For you. Because you want that village, and I want to be at your side."
My heart swells with happiness and I nip at his thumb before pushing it out of my mouth. "Ohana— community — is everything where I come from. It's having people to depend on, and everyone is like one big family."
"I've never had a family. Or a community." His eyes are troubled.
"I'll walk you through it. I promise." He's quiet, and I know he's got his doubts. Lucky for him, he's going to always have me at his side. "Now, about that second orgasm I'm owed..."
My heart flips when he gives me another feral grin.
Some time later, we lie in bed, side by side, and stare up at the ceiling. The fire is flickering, and Valmir gets up to stoke it,then lies next to me again. I don't move. My brain feels melted, my khui still humming frantically. I'm exhausted and sweaty, but I also feel strangely good. Content.
Of course I feel good — I've just had a dozen orgasms in a row. Anybody would forget about their problems for a while after that. To my surprise, Valmir reaches for my hand and twines his fingers with mine. He doesn't say anything or try to initiate sex. It's like he needs to be touching me to be content, and it makes my heart flutter with quiet delight.
"So," he says casually, rubbing one of my knuckles with his finger. "When we return, do you want a Ding-Ding Feast of your own?"
I grin, picturing it. "You would hate that."
"I would, but I would do it for you."
Aw. My smile grows bigger, and I imagine what my own wedding feast would look like. Flor and I'rec's was a raucous affair. We didn't attend for long since we resonated, but it could be heard all over the beach. Dawn told me so many stories the next day of people acting silly, too, and we ate leftovers for days. The food was incredible, even if it was unfamiliar. "My people like a good feast," I say to him. "We call it aluau, and there'shuladancing and storytelling and a whole animal is smoked in a pit for hours on end."
He sits up in the furs, gazing down at me. "Aluau? You do love a celebration."
My brain is orgasm-addled, so it takes a moment for me to realize what I just said. Luau. Hula.
"Oh," I say softly. "I'mHawaiian."
It feels like a revelation. Like the last missing pieces of the puzzle have slid into place. I want to weep and shout and run about in circles, all at once. I laugh with delighted surprise, pressing my hands to my face. Of course I'm Hawaiian. The words flitting through my mind aren't in thetranslator, but it doesn't mean they're not real words. It's the language of my people — the'Olelo Hawai'i.
"Did you remember something?" Valmir asks me, excited.
I ache with how much I'm feeling in this moment. "I think I rememberedeverything."
"Tell me."
So I do. I tell him all I can think of about my people. About how I come from the Big Island,Moku o Keawe, and how it's warm and wonderful and laid back. How I am descended from a culture of warriors who were almost wiped out, but we've fought hard to keep our culture alive. How it's an obligation to Hawaiians to carry on our ways and share them with others so they can experience the beauty of our culture. I tell him about everything I can think of, from the language of my people, to whathulais, to what foods we eat.
"I even remember my name. My Hawaiian name. 'Apelila."
"It's beautiful," he says. "Should I call you that now? Would you rather?"
I suddenly feel settled in my own skin. Like the parts that were causing friction in my brain have smoothed out. 'Apelila knows who she is, but 'Apelila isn't all that I am anymore. I'm April, too, because April is part of the community here on Icehome. It's my future. "You can still call me April. It's enough that we know all of my names."
"I am so glad for you, April. My 'Apelila," Valmir says, and he reaches for my hand again. "We have at least one culture to share with our child." His expression is full of genuine enthusiasm, and I realize that Valmir gets it. No one else knows what it means for me to finally figure out that I'm Hawaiian. Dawn would be happy that I'm happy, because she's my friend. But Valmir truly understands it and it makes me so happy to share this with him. No one else needs to "get" it. That he does is enough.
"It feels like I finally have an answer."
"If there's anything I can do to help you remember more, tell me."
I'm filled with love for him, because he celebrates my wins. He knows how important this is to me and his happinessfor meis evident. It makes me want to do something for him. Well, for both of us really. "You know what helps me?"
"What?"
