Page 155 of High Reward

Victor sits up as I’m straightening my dress over my hips.

“I know you weren’t trying to sneak out of here.”

I don’t answer, just walk to the bathroom and wash my face and stare at myself in the mirror for a moment. The questions start again. Am I making the right choice? I have been loved well by these two. And I love them deeply.

And that’s exactly why I’m leaving, I remind myself. I’m leaving because they deserve the healed version of me. The version of me that takes space for herself to grow and unlearn the negativity that was beaten into me as part of my marriage.

I don’t even know if I’m capable of being a person who isn’t in survival mode. This space I’m taking is to figure out who she is.

Victor is building a life where Grace can heal. I don’t know what I’m building yet, and the version of myself that currently exists would eventually crack something between us if I bring her into this house.

That’s the part I’m having trouble saying out loud to either of them.

When I come back into the bedroom, Grace is pulling on clothes, her face puffy from sleep. Victor is in the closet, pulling on dark jeans and a gray shirt. He pauses and stares at me when I lean against the door to the closet.

“I’ll load the car,” he says.

“Vic. You don’t have to. I was going to call a car.”

He lets out a short laugh. “You’re insane if you think we’re not taking you to the airport.”

I sigh but agree. It will be nice to take the drive with both of them.

The three of us move downstairs, and Grace sits on the couch while Victor gathers my things to load into the car.

I sit next to Grace and pick up her hand. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I press a kiss to her hair.

“I need you to be OK,” I murmur against her curls.

“I will be,” she says, then pauses. “Eventually.”

I tighten my arm around her, and we sit quietly for a moment. Then I stand and offer her my hand. “Come on. Let’s meet Victor at the car.”

We walk out as Victor is pulling his car up to the porch. Grace takes the passenger seat, which means I’m in the back. It’s probably the right arrangement. I need the distance of a seat between us so I can keep my head clear.

The drive is quiet at first as we pass the barren desert before reaching the city lights come into view.

I’ve lived in Las Vegas long enough that the lights stopped impressing me a long time ago. But tonight, I’m mesmerized as we drive the freeway parallel to The Strip. We pass the Pink Sapphire and I’m overwhelmed with memories of meeting Victor. Our beginning was strange, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After an hour long drive, Victor pulls to the curb at the terminal and jumps out, leaving the engine running. At least he didn’t park and try to walk me in. That would have been too much. He gets my bag from the trunk and sets it on the sidewalk next to me, then stands in front of me with his hands in his pockets. Grace is staring out the passenger window at us.

“Lili.”

“Don’t try to stop me.”

“I’m not.” He holds my gaze. “I just want to remind you I am not a patient man. You’re getting your way by leaving, but if you’re gone longer than I can stand, I’m going to come find you.”

“You don’t even know where I’m going.”

He smirks, and my heart breaks a fraction more. “You and I both know I’ll find you if I have to.”

“Please let me do this my way, Vic.”

“I am.” He steps forward and presses his lips to my forehead. “That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be impatient about it.”

Grace opens the door and steps out as he pulls away. At first she doesn’t say anything, just wraps her arms around me and holds on. I let her stay as long as she needs.

When she finally pulls back, her eyes are bright with unshed tears. I am grateful for that. Seeing her cry standing on the curb would have been too much. “I love you, Lili,” she whispers. “I hope you find what you need and hurry back to us.” Then she stands up on her tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to my lips.